A Hiraeth; a homesickness for a place you can't return to, or that never was.
We all have one, the place where we spent our first years of life, where we thought was our home. The place where our parents told us how to be, who to be. How to speak, how to dress, our morals and our beliefs. Then one day, you realise it was all for nothing. At only 18 years old we are expected to make our own choice- to decide where we belong. That day just so happens to be today.
I sit here silently in the justice building hall - awaiting the beginning of the choosing ceremony. The sea of vibrancy before me is mesmerising - my eyes have become used to the monochromatic black and white colours of my childhood.
Candor, Erudite, Amity, Abnegation, Dauntless. You must decide which faction you best fit in to. Honesty, intelligence, kindness, selflessness or bravery. I was raised as a Candor - the faction of justice. I was taught to be truthful with my words, most times to a fault.
Never did I believe I would ever consider leaving Candor - However, I'm not safe there.
I am what they call divergent- meaning that I don't fit into their societal standards. In my aptitude testing I received an inconclusive result of both Dauntless and Abnegation. There shouldn't be anything wrong with being both brave and selfless- but they fear me like one would a deadly animal. I was told that I shouldn't tell anybody about what I am, that I would be sought out and killed immediately.
The lady who administered my test was thankfully understanding. Anybody else would have handed me into the government right away- she didn't.
"Get out of Candor. You're not one of them - it will be harder to hide. If you want to live, don't stay"
Her words have been swirling around my head for the past few days. She was right of course. I didn't receive a Candor result - it would be impossible not to be noticed.
"Honey, are you okay? You're going to be up soon" my mothers words snap me out of my dream world. I hadn't even noticed the ceremony had began. One by one young girls and boys walk up onto the make shift stage - but I can't focus on that. All I can think about is my mother. The thought of leaving her behind makes me feel sick.
She fell pregnant with me when she was quite young, only 17 years old. My dad transferred to erudite, leaving my mother to raise me all by herself. That didn't stop her from giving me the best life she possibly could.
Now I'm here, leaving her just as my father did.
"Lorelei Whitaker" The two words I have been dreading.
I squeeze my mothers hand tightly before I stand from my seat.
"I love you Em, no matter what" my heart drops, of course she knows I'm not staying.
"I love you too mom"
My feet reluctantly scale down the steps towards the stage, my eyes blinking to get rid of the tears. As I arrive at the 5 bowls I am greeted by this years host- Jeanine Matthews. She smiles at me as she places a small dagger in my hands.
"Choose wisely" her voice is so stable, calm even. She sounds just as you would imagine erudite's head leader to sound.
I take a deep breath as I look between the bowls. Glass for Candor, Water for Erudite, Dirt for Amity, Pebbles for Abnegation and Hot coals for Dauntless. I press the tip of the knife into the softest part of my palm - blood trickling from it as the stinging sensation subsides. I close my eyes as I wait for the maroon liquid to drip onto my chosen element.
As the coals begin to sizzle I can't decide whether I feel relief, excitement, overwhelming pain, or all three.
"Dauntless"
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HIRAETH (Divergent Eric X OC)
Fanfiction||CLICK FOR FULL SUMMARY|| Lorelei was raised in a faction where she was forced to always tell the truth. When she turns 18, that all begins to crumble. She now has a secret - one so big that if it became public knowledge she would be a goner. Will...
