GABRIEL

Two

Gabriel

This was the last place I wanted to be. My uncle, Luke, had given me little choice though. Somebody needed to put in an appearance on opening night and he was too busy running the company. As he had put it "doing my job". Not that he seemed to mind and not that I had anything better to do. Standing here now , I could not help but think how much my father would have hated this new investment. He was old school and would have preferred a more relaxed atmosphere with conversation and a good glass of whiskey. I pushed down the feelings that threatened to choke me every time I thought of him. It lay somewhere between guilt, shame and fear. I couldn't believe it. His strong firm voice still played in my head commenting on my every move. He had seemed invincible and now, he was just gone.

I had been nursing a vodka and coke for the last hour , lost in my thoughts when I felt a sharp jab in my ribs.

"What!", I said looking at my friend, Kyle, who stood next to me. He was on his fourth drink, one for each woman he had unsuccessfully hit on thus far, and obviously quite tipsy. Friend was a generous word but he was the only one who had been available on short notice. I knew he would not refuse free food and alcohol. Kyle was one of the few people I had kept in touch with since getting into medical school and I did so sparingly not wanting to regress into weed, women and blackout weekends. That had been a thing of the the past, until recently.

" 6 o 'clock," he said winking at me." You need to get laid. Enough with the moping"

He leaned over and covered his mouth as if he was whispering but he was literally shouting to be heard over the music. He looked ridiculous but he was right.

I had been moping. I was behind in school and couldn't seem to garner enough interest to start studying for the quickly nearing finals. I spent most of the time away from the hospital smoking weed and playing video games. Weed had been my best friend these last few months. When I was smoking, thoughts of my father ceased. I no longer hated and missed him at the same time, mourning the relationship we will now never have. I didn't think of the future and I was no longer paralyzed by the fear of stepping into his imposing shadow. Most of all though, I didn't think of his mangled body, lying on the cold slab in the sterile room that smelt of chemicals and death and chilled me to my bones.

Sleep had been hard to come since the accident. The number of trips Kyle had been making to my apartment with my supply of weed had steadily increased, and I had stopped trying to be covert about it. His advice: fuck it out. Whenever we met , he was constantly pointing out women hoping to pique my interest. I barely tolerated his presence, a woman was the last thing I needed. Additionally, I didn't despise anyone enough to inflict me upon them. This heaping mass of self hatred, anger, guilt and sorrow. I was barely surviving it. I was prepared to brush him off yet again when I saw her.

She stood out in the large crowd of people. The dancing spot lights bounced off her gold shimmery top drawing attention to her breasts. Her nipples were peaked I noted but she was unaware. Her head was tossed back in abandon, eyes closed and hands over head as she swayed to the beats. Her wild curls cascading down her bare back . She was a thing of beauty, untamed and free. A freedom I longed for. I set my barely touched glass on the counter and went to her bewitched by the sultry movements of her body. I couldn't help myself and rested my hand on her hips. Initially startled by the contact she started to pull away but seemingly changed her mind and instead, moved back into my embrace and we started dancing in unison. I didn't understand what overcame me. I didn't dance but here I was doing just that. I had barely touched my drink but I felt intoxicated by her. I rested my cheek against hers and started moving my hands over her body. Wrapping her hands around my neck she brought me closer. Then the music ended. She turned lifting heavy lidded eyes to me. I smiled down at her while as her eyes tried to survey me in the darkness. I watched as they settled on my lips then my eyes. Staring at each other for a moment, I saw it. What she held lingering behind her eyes echoed mine.