Habits of the Heart

X

Sherlock remained distant for quite a while. Refusing to acknowledge any questions that John asked him unless they were about his studies. He was careful as well, never coming too close to John, almost as if he feared contact.

It was that Friday, 6 days after the kiss, that John snapped. He had grabbed Sherlock by the arm and dragged him into an empty hallway, much to his dismay. John pushed him up against the locker,a bit more roughly than needed, but then again, he was seething.

"Talk to me you prick." He whispered loudly, almost as if breathless. "For days, days, I have tried to talk to you. Tried to fix things. Just talk to me." The last sentence came out more desperate than he had intended.

"I do talk to you, in tutoring. I will speak with you again today as well."

"Just stop it. Stop it. You are too smart to be playing this dumb. Tell me this... Is it over?"

"Is what over?"

"Us?"

"Somethig can't be over unless it had begun. You made it clear that you didn't want it to begin." He pushed John off of  him and began walking towards the exit.

"I do!" John blurted out, desperate to keep Sherlock from leaving. "I do want it to begin."

Sherlock stopped walking, keeping his back towards John. "Why the sudden change of mind?"

"It's not a change of mind. I wanted this. I was just... Scared."

"Scared? Scared of what? You've been with plenty people before me! What does it matter?" His words were like slaps to John face.

"I've never wanted to be with someone... While I was sober." The words came out in a whisper, but Sherlock had heard him. He turned and faced John.

With a few rapid steps, Sherlock was in front of John, leaning down and planting his lips onto the blonde male's. This time John didn't freeze up. He didn't become rigid and filled with fear. He snaked is hands up towards Sherlock's face, cupping them as he kissed back deeply.

When they pulled away, John was able to see some of the life that returned into Sherlock's eyes.

---

Tutoring went by smoothly, maybe even better than that. Laughter filled the air and John and Sherlock sat a little closer than they used to.

Accidently brushes of hands and a little too long eye contect went unnoticed by the world, but seemed like the center attention for the two of them.

"Will you stay for dinner?"

"Depends."

"I ordered a pizza."

"How romantic."

John glanced at him, a grin glued to his face. Sherlock couldn't help but smile in return.

"I'll take that as a yes."

"Of course it's a yes."

---

It was a warm Saturday, about a week after they made up. The boys were seated outside. John rested his head against the wall and ran his fingers through curly black hair. Sherlock rested his head on John's lap, opening his eyes every so often to look up at John before smiling and closing them yet again.

"You sure you don't want to take your jacket off? It's pretty warm out..."

"You're going to have to date me for more than a week if you want me to start stripping for you, John Watson."

"That's not what I meant!"

Sherlock chuckled softly. "I know. I'm fine, don't worry about me."

John sighed and continued running his fingers through Sherlock's hair. "Where did you go the day after our first kiss?" He asked softly. Sherlock stiffened below him.

"Nowhere."

John frowned, looking down at him. "Sherlock..."

"I said nowhere."

"Sherlock, don't you trust me?" John felt him flinch.

He sat up slowly, letting John's hand slip from the top of his head and onto the grass. He turned to look at John in the eye, forcing a smile.

"It's unimportant okay? I would tell you if it mattered." He murmured before placing a light kiss on John's lips. Joh frowned but didn't protest any more.

Sherlock laid back down onto John's lap and John resumed running his fingers through the genuis' hair. All was calm. Peaceful.

"Hey John..." Sher lock murmured, chewing on his lip. John glanced down at him, humming a soft 'hmm?'

"I love you, you know."

John smiled, butterflies dancing in his stomach. He leaned down and kissed Sherlock's forehead before replying.

"I love you too."

Then they were quiet. Content beyond belief. They didn't need words to fill the space between them because there was hardly any space to fill. They had each other, which was more than either one of them was used to.