Tim had been invited to a night out with his three best friends, and Bernard was welcomed to come along too.
Tim was buzzing with excitement- or maybe caffeine- the point was Bernard and his friends had only met on a few occasions, and it felt like his worlds were colliding. In the best way possible. He loved hanging out with his boyfriend, and he loved hanging out with his friends; now he was going to hang out with all of them together. Like proper teenagers.
Tim was getting ready, fussing with his hair in the mirror, when Bernard appeared behind him in the reflection, leaning in the doorway. "Look at you getting all dolled up", he smiles. "Can't imagine that's all for me, huh?"
Tim raises a brow at him through the mirror. "What are you talking about?"
Bernard's soft smile turns into a smirk. "C'mon, look at you, baby. You're trying to get someone's attention, and you've already got mine." He moves to wrap his arms around Tim from behind, and the boy in question watches him closely in the mirror. "Is it Konner?"
Tim's ears go pink and he looks away. "No!"
Bernard snickers. "He is pretty hot though, like damn I wouldn't mind getting between those thighs. I know you've thought about it~" he teases. Tim only turns more pink, sputtering and trying to come up with words.
"I am not getting dolled up to impress Kon! You're my boyfriend, Bernard. I love you."
Bernard hums and turns Tim around to look him in the eyes. "And I love you too. But I also know you have feelings for Kon, and that's okay." he brushes some hair out of Tim's face and grins.
"Besides, no one platonically tries to clone their dead best friend-"
Tim lightly shoves him away, causing Bernard to laugh. "I wish Bart never told you about that. Can't keep his mouth shut", he complains.
Bernard hums in thought. "I probably would have found out anyway, I figured out the whole Robin thing after all. And that's the best thing about Bart, the gossip is great if you can keep up", he chuckles.
Tim sighs.
"Awh come on Timtam, admit it already. You totally have the hots for Konner, and that's totally cool because I do too", he sort of half-sing songs.
Tim turns to look at him again, analysing him maybe.
"What? Can you blame me? You've known him way longer than me, I know you see the appeal." he states.
Tim grumbles. What even is this conversation?
Bernard smiles. "Okay, so you're still very much in denial then. Understandable, if I didn't sweep you off your feet before I got kidnapped, you'd probably still be denying how much you love me too, so that's fair. But Kon is an oblivious dork- unlike myself. So if you don't finally step up, I'll have to."
Tim raises his eyebrows. "Oh really? And what makes you think Kon wants either of us? I mean yeah, you're like an angel on earth with those looks, but he's straight."
Bernard's mouth drops. "You cannot be serious right now. Konner, straight? You've known this man for how long? And you never picked up on the fact that man is definitely not straight?" Bernard's tone is disbelieving, shocked even.
Tim is confused. "He very explicitly likes women, babe. Women. He is a literal chic magnet, what are you on about?"
Bernard shakes his head," you do know that doesn't mean he's straight, right? Like no one ever suspected you were bi until you started dating me, you are quite the chic magnet yourself, Timothy Wayne."
Tim squints at Bernard. "Yeah, but I would know if Kon was queer. He's my closest friend, I couldn't have missed something like that-"
Bernard cuts him off. "He's punk, for one. Punks are not straight. And he attends pride every year-"
"Yeah, as an ally! And punks can be straight-"
"Really? Name one. Bet you can't."
Tim can't name one. Mostly because he doesn't actually know enough straight people or enough punks. He doesn't have enough appropriate data to prove or disprove that statement.
"His favourite shirt is literally the pan colours!"
"That's a coincidence. He likes the shirt because it has cool cars on it."
"He likes mothman."
"Mothman isn't even real, and liking him doesn't mean you're queer."
"Yes he is. And yes, it does."
Tim lets out a groan of frustration. This isn't going anywhere.
"Maybe, we should just ask him then. And I am almost completely sure, he'll confirm that he's straight."
Bernard sighs. "You don't see the way he looks at you when you're not looking. It's like he gets stars in his stupid perfect eyes. He just lights up every time he manages to get you to laugh, everytime, Tim. And it's so adorably cute!"
"Fine. Let's entertain the idea that you're correct in your assumption; is he not monogamous? What makes you think he'll be okay with sharing?" Tim asks the important question.
Though Bernard seems to give him another confused look. "I highly doubt he's monogamous, Tim. I mean, he's never dated two people at once before, sure. But when he was dating Cassie he let her date that other girl, so I'm sure he's capable of sharing".
Tim is dumbfounded. "Wait stop- when was this!?"
"I don't know, Bart was telling me about it a couple of weeks ago. Yeah, he was telling me all about what he knew of Konner's love life because I had expressed some interest in the idea of polyamory", Bernard explains.
"I'm sorry- you and Bart have been discussing this for weeks? What else do you two talk about when unsupervised??"
"Well the other day, we went out for brunch and discussed Bruce's sex life within the Justice League. Which was actually very interesting. Poor Bart, he can't catch a break with Barry and Wally both fawning over bats".
"That's awesome, I totally wanted that to be the way I found out about my father sleeping with his teammates. Thanks so much. I'm banning you from future brunches." Tim states, his face scrunched in mild disgust.
"Well hey, better to find out this way than how poor Dick apparently found out", Bernard shrugs.
Tim really, really doesn't want to think about what that entailed. And besides, they were getting off-topic here, weren't they? Where was this conversation even headed in the first place, though?
