I am aware I havent got all the tenses right, and that some spelling may be off but i cant be bothered correcting it :)
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The clouds above me gather together a mass of threatening grey. It seems ironic that when I stormed out of my house earlier the sky was a beautiful blue lagoon and now had deteriorated into a vulgar mess of algae and sludge spiraling down the drain, like my mood. My legs feel like jelly now that the rage has simmered down a little bit. I seek refuge on the swing. I squeeze myself into the small black seat and wrap my fingers around the chains of the swing, the paint has worn off them and they look as worn out as I feel. I gently ease back; making sure the swing will take my weight, and push off with my feet. Up I go! The wind feels like butterfly wings against my skin. I push again and again, getting higher and higher, getting further and further away from the argument I had with my know-it-all parents. My stomach drops each time I fall back to earth, I feel as free and fearless as I had felt as a young child being pushed on this exact swing. “Higher, daddy! Higher!” I would have been yelling. But I wasn’t a child anymore; I didn’t need to be treated like one.
Sunshine was streaming down from a sky filled with fluffy sheep. “The playground” I whispered with light trepidation in my voice, of course I had been to the playground a million times before, but today was different, today I was no longer small enough to fit in the baby swing. The last time I had squished my three year old body into the frame I had found myself stuck. The tears I cried as my father had yanked me out must have acted like butter on the plastic frame, helping me to slip out on my father’s tug. He had kissed me and reassured me I was fine, I was so lucky Daddy’s kisses could fix everything. What a magical power he possesses. Daddy had told me after the ‘stuck’ incident that I was too big and must use the big kids swing from now on. What a scary thought! How would I stay sitting on the swing with no back or front to keep me in place? Would I not fall out? Surely I would! Daddy kept telling me I’d be fine, he’d always have my back and catch me when I fell. I still wasn’t entirely convinced that this was a good idea, but I trusted my daddy and I simply couldn’t put off my need to soar above the playground.
My legs nervously walked me over to the intimidating swing. I stepped onto the barks rough surface, the bark clawed at my feet with every timid step I took. Suddenly, a shadow overtook me. Fear spiked in my throat. I knew this was a bad idea! Doom crept up right alongside me “You can do this sweetheart, I’ll help you” Doom sounded oddly like my father and I dared myself a glance. “Daddy!” I exclaimed. I let his baseball mitt hand enclose around my chubby pink fingers. We made our way slowly to the swing, “Daddy, I can’t do this” I stuttered “You can darling, we can do it together” We reached the big black plastic swing and he lifted me onto the swing, its plastic molded to my shape, it enclosed my sides,
“Hold on”,
“Daddy what if I fall?”
“I will always be here to catch you” he had pinky promised me before he hoisted the swing into the air. Slowly but surely I had gained more and more height until I was like a soaring bird. My stomach lurched with each rise and fall. And I was loving it. The fear had released me from its claws and I squealed in delight. I had even forgotten to keep looking over my shoulder to check my daddy was still there.
The rain clouds rumble above me. I let the swing stop its sway and I place my feet firmly on the ground. Maybe I had over reacted, I think to myself. Maybe mum and dad weren’t trying to ruin my life after all. I stood and gazed beyond the playground and remind myself of the promise my daddy made me all those years ago, that he had always looked out for me, always pushed me when I needed encouragement and always been there for me when things went wrong. The rain began to trickle down and I made a mad dash in the direction of home, not so I wouldn’t get drenched in the down pour, but so I could let my daddy catch me, before I fell too far. I might not be a child anymore, but I still needed my daddy, and maybe, just maybe, dad still knows best.
