"You know what they say?"
"What?"
"That he's a boy version of you."
"Ha?! Really?"
"Mhm."
"Well, that's strange."
"Know what else they say...?"
"Nope."
"That once you meet the boy version of you, you are fucked."
______________________________...
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19th March, 2020
"Ottokaji (what am I gonna do)...?"
-I groan, sliding down the door, crashing to the floor as I sit alone in my apartment, staring into blank space.
It's 8.30 am and I just reached my place. It was so dumb of me to oversleep, and so couldn't even say a proper farewell to you. I don't remember when I fell asleep at the midst of your kisses and caresses. However, by the time I woke up, it was past 7 am and you were already gone to the airport, although leaving a small note for me on the night stand which said 'Borahae, my youngster'.
I remember smiling at your adorable gesture. You have often enjoyed teasing me with that 'strange term' used by my unknown 'well-wisher', and you gladly continued it even at your departure, making it less of a tragedy and more of a comedy. Or so is all I could decipher.
It was kind of you to leave a new pincode also for me on the note so I could leave your flat whose security system basically worked on your fingerprint till now.
I remember leaving your place with one last sorrowful look on my face, for the entire place is embraced in your scent, the fading echoes of your voice... and by our memories.
I take a look at my watch. 10 more minutes, and your flight will take off.
"You could have at least woken me up."
-I mumbled under my breath. My face burying into the large white Celine t-shirt that I am wearing ; your t-shirt, something I made sure to grab before I left your place, something that could give me a sense of your presence for the next two months.
I took a deep whiff, breathing your scent in. Tears already lining at the corners of my eyes as I bite in my whimpers.
"It's okay. It's just two months. Just two months."
-I tried to console myself.
"Oh gawd, two months. Two WHOLE months with 62 days."
-The console slowly morphing into a deep terror. The realisation of the voidity caused by your absence beginning to devour me bit by bit like a monster.
"I'm dead I'm dead I'm dead..."
-I rattled. A peculiar dread which I have never been familiar with suddenly begins to pervade through and over me. It ached my chest in a way I couldn't articulate. Almost as if an impending doom spreading within every fibre of my body like a wild fire.
It is truly astonishing how each time and each situation keeps on giving me a reality check of how much you ACTUALLY matters to me. At this point, I am COMPLETELY submissive to you, on my knees for you.
