I got to my room fast.. My eyes are very heavy and pry for some sleep as I fall onto the bed and lay back fast asleep. The AC blows cool air into my ears as my brown hair falls over my face. Relaxation sweeps through my body. I turn and cuddle with my pillow a smile running across my face unknowingly.
***
I dreamt of a garden with all my loved ones. The AC begins to blow harder and more hair falls on my face irritating me. I turn again beginning to get annoyed. Something catches me, this spreads an awful uneasiness through me and it only got worse as time ticked by.I subconsciously knew it had something to do with something I hate but I refuse to get up. The uneasiness spreads in me at a rapid pace as I begin to turn and clench my fist, and roll up like a ball, and turn again and feel like kicking the pillows... It fills me with hatred and everything opposite to what i'd taught and practicing my whole life. Rather quickly my face easens to a blank expression and i secretly hoped the worst was over...suddenly, a wave of panic appears on my face, flustering my heart at an alarming rate. its comeback was the worst, reminiscing on everything, clenching my fist, squeezing my eyes shut.... Suffocating me..Ragged breathing and dripping sweat. Through the suffocation I try to get up.. My body resisting my internal commands.my eyes refuse to open... Then water, salted- tears fall on the pillow that my head rests, I can't take it anymore, I struggle to get up and finally my body understands, I jump up sitting and open my eyes slowly, I look around, shivers sent down my spine and then I lookup straight... And there I broke. An unknown feeling takes over me hurting me and though I remember nothing of it, I cry silently for how long I didn't seem to care, but if it didnt hurt, I wouldn't be crying.... Breaking apart... I didnt know what I was afraid of... Maybe I was afraid of fear in itself.
