Life is crazy at times. Sometimes all you have time for is fear. That was me. I had so many things to be afraid of. But there was just one thing that scared me the most, blood curdling, and deadly to me.....the only thing that made me go weak at my knees and blind in sight, eyes are burning and red, and my face grows pale.
for me, it was different, about 95% of my town is of normal and healthy kids...so whats abnormal is when you find someone abnormal, like me...i was weak emotionally and physically, i needed time to know myself better.....but fear stops me again...
'there were fire engines all around our building, my sister whom i so dearly loved was no where to be seen....we left at our house alone, because my parents wanted her to study but managed to pull me out of that dome in the evening unwillingly...when we came back , we came back to the sound of alarms, and orange lights that turned quickly... my heart was no longer pumping as i felt weak..... i wanted to see my sister right at that moment. i complained then about not letting my sister come with me.....but they had their own shocked faces to listen to what i had to say . i jumped out of the car, and tried to run in but the firemen pushed me back swiftly, and held me back....they were telling me something but all i heard at that time was the sound of heart beats 93 times per second and my breathlessness increasing.....though I was a coward, i was always brave when it came to my sister. she made me strong. my breathlessness increased as i took the inhaler out and puffed. it was hereditary i could say.....but it was worse for the both of us than our dad. my sister and i had asthma, which came for our dad wheezing... my mom and him were to get separated in about two months. i didn't care about them. but i did with my sister, she was like my child, i brought her up, and taught her stuff when both my parents were out busy chilling with their friends. we were always at each others back and knew each other like the back of our hands. the fire fighters brought my sister out in their arms as i ran to them and tried to speak but in vain. she started coughing and soon enough she was vomiting....BLOOD .... 2 weeks she was in the hospital , in the ICU. and she was gone'
i couldn't live with myself. i blamed it on myself, amd somehow I wanted the opposite of everything but as days walked agonizingly slowly..it became harder for me amd maube even my parents who were still on their same track refusing to act normal andy grieve the death of their daughter.but they'd never do amything remotely for me. i didn't want them ....not anymore....i hated them ...i hated myself.....and i slit my hand , my wrist ..... i screamed in panic, but alas ....too late....i was brave enough for this.... my knees went weak, my face went pale, i felt weak ...but too weak as i felt liquid falling off my hand rather slowly but the flow was quick. i felt nauseated but not as much as always. and i tried to scream again. and then everything blackened.
