PERFECT US. . .

1. Kiara Awasthi

It was about 11 o' clock in the night, Kiara was sitting on the chair placed in the balcony. She was thinking about her life.

Kiara's pov :

Why my life is like this? Everyday, every single day, I motivate myself to live by giving hopes to myself. And every day God give me more reasons to die.

First of all I feel so much insecure of my looks. Like there are some moments in my life in which I slayed , i knew it i slayed for ex. When I won the ramp walk competition at my college. But then some people say or make you feel like you achieved it because of your luck and then again I fell in that well of insecurities.

         

I'm tired now.

I'm tired of giving myself fake hopes, I'm tired of dealing with torments alone, I'm tired of betrayals, I'm tired of loneliness, I'm tired of everything.

But the worst part is I can't even die.

Everytime suicidal thoughts cross my mind, they get vanished quickly, as thought of my parents conquer my mind.
           

I'm a single child, I have so many responsibilities. I can't leave this world just like that. I have to live. I have no other option. Everyone thinks that there are so many advantages of being a single child but it's not like that.

As a single child, I'm so alone in my life. Even because the responsibilities I sacrificed my dreams. I used to like dance so much. But my mom never supported me. I wanted to join Dance classes but she never let me do that. That's why I just remained a normal dancer not a professional. Though my dancing skills are still good but now dance is just my hobbie. I love to read. I also used to write poems. I wanted to be a writer but now I feel like I can't do that.
                 

Once upon a time I used to write poems on any random subject but now I can't even form a few words on my own feelings.

It feels like my words are dead now, it feels like my soul is dead now.
 

       
And now I'm in the second year of bca. Ya bca, because my mom suggested to take this course as she found that this field has scope.

My whole life is as fucked up as my career.

I used to read so many novels and used to watch many Disney fairytale movies. I always dreamt of having life like those fairytales. I also wanted to meet my PRINCE. but here in reality love is far away from my life.

Even I have only two people as my friend. Though they meant world to me.

Even they are far away from me, as they live another city but they are always close to my heart and we are still in contact.

One, is my friend Ruhi, she lives in Pune. She is my childhood friend. Until 6th standard she was with me but after that her family shifted to pune. But we are still in touch.

Second, is my friend Shiv, he lives in city near my hometown. But due to his work we don't get time to meet daily.  I met shiv in 11th standard. We were in same college. After 12th I took BCA and he took some courses related to animation. He also does a part time job in a cafe. Actually their families financial condition is good but he wanted to be independent so he started working part time. We are also still in touch and often update each other about our lives.

       
Today, I came to Pune, at my Didi's place, she is here for job. I came here for holidays. I thought atleast today I will find some happiness, but no. My Didi and her two friends brought their boyfriend with them to hangout with us.  Due to which I felt so left out.

In college, my two friends have a boyfriend and they only talk about them. We were like together for lectures only. Once the lecture is over again they start texting their boyfriend and they make their own plans with them. Though I am happy for them because at least someone is happy in their life. Their relationship is so good. But the problem is I don't have anyone.That's why I feel so alone daily. But even here the situation is the same.

Nowhere in this world can I find happiness.

Why am I even existing in this world?

Will I ever find someone or not? . . .

Note: so here come's the first chapter. Show some love. And comment your opinions in the comment box. Ya I know the chapter is quite short. But you will get to know many more things about Kiara in upcoming chapters. Next chapter will be the introduction of kartavya. It will be published soon. Thank you. Keep reading, keep supporting.