crack in the mirror | gayeon 🪞

-5-

If Jooyeon had known how things would turn out, he wouldn't have chosen this school. He would have stayed at home with his loving parents and suffered, but for God's sake, he wouldn't have gone there.

If he had known where he and Jiseok would end up, he would have hesitated twice before unfolding that pink piece of paper. He would have hesitated twice before looking at him through that window.

But he got to spend even more time with him. Most of the time, at Oasis, very late in the night, with Jiseok gripping the brush and him sitting in the indicated place.

What was funny was the fact that no one knew about all these meetings—only he and Jiseok. If there was a reason for it, Jooyeon didn't know. He didn't think about it at all; he thought it was normal.

"Jooyeon, can you please open your mouth a bit more?" Jiseok asked, and Jooyeon couldn't see his face but could wonder what it looked like. His vision registered that he tilted his head slightly to the side, trying to capture as best as he could what he had just seen, but beside it, he knew nothing. By the way Jiseok hummed something under his breath, Jooyeon deduced that he was satisfied with the way he looked now.

Or at least that was what he hoped, because a moment later Jiseok clicked his tongue and cracked his knuckles.

"Is everything alright?"

"Lick your lips for me," Jiseok ordered, but before Jooyeon did so, he gazed at him. Nothing about him said anything strange or ambiguous; he looked at the boy, who had suddenly turned and faced him. "One more time."

"What is it for?" Jooyeon touched his lower lip with his finger, slowly pressing against it as if it were to make it more wet. His brows were furrowed, and a puzzled expression didn't leave his face. 

"They don't shine the way I'd want them to in the painting," Jiseok explained, "and there is no light around you; the sparkle is barely visible."

Jiseok was right. Jooyeon knew he was right, but somehow it felt intimate.

It was just them in the room, his shiny lips, and Jiseok observing him from a little distance.

"Can't you perhaps imagine it?" He questioned, thinking it was an easy task. Maybe it was, but Jiseok seemed to have troubles with it, or, as Jooyeon thought, liked the little discomfort he sowed.

Maybe he needed this aura to create? After all, he didn't even want to tell Jooyeon what the message of the portrait would be.

It could be anything.

"Can you imagine the feelings of a murderer?" Jiseok asked back. It hit Jooyeon with such an impact that he had no idea how to reply at first.

He decided to smile, as if laughing at the little reference, but deep inside he didn't like it at all. He was still struggling with the book.

Jiseok seemed to know. He had to know.

If he hadn't smiled at him with his bare teeth, Jooyeon could have assumed that he was aware of his constant problems with the writing of his book, but he did give him such a beam.

"But you have seen a reflection in someone's lips at least once in your life; I doubt that you murdered someone." Jooyeon continued, suddenly remembering his talk with Jiseok a few days ago. Remembering that Jiseok knew about his parents.

He wanted to hide himself.

Jiseok knew a lot more than Jooyeon thought; even for exapmple the way he always brews his tea... 

Jooyeon wondered how many more things were in the boy's brain, in a shelf labelled 'Jooyeon Lee', maybe there were things even the owner of the name didn't know about himself.