kiss me one last time before I leave| Taekook

I

Jungkook Pov:
The very first memory in my life was when I adopted a pet rabbit. My mom used to say that pets are like air; they fill up your lungs and help you breathe. My mother was the best in the entire world. I grew up without a father figure from a very early age, but I never felt his absence in her presence. It was like she was the one helping me breathe. That was until she unexpectedly passed away. I had an older sister who had gone to study abroad. My emotions were mixed when I saw her after years at our mother's funeral. She had looked at me with pity in her eyes. We had a pretty big age gap. I was 13 when my mother passed away, while she was 20. I could see in her eyes as she looked at me on the day of the ceremony that she was hurting. I felt bad. I had looked at her with pity in my eyes as well.

She took me with her to the US. I could no longer live in Korea after my mom had passed away. I did not want to go, but I had no choice. I was 13, and obviously could have survived at my own especially at times like that, so I left with her. The experience of living in the US wasn't the best. It took me years to adjust. The kids weren't the kindest, but I did not exactly get bullied too; it was a mixed experience. Life was going just fine, and I had even made a few friends, but it wasn't that crazy. That was until grade 11 that I met Jake. He was a sweet guy, very well-spoken, and very gentle. We grew closer in no time. His mom was Korean, and his dad was American. I was surprised when he spoke to me in fluent Korean. It had made me so happy to talk to someone in Korean after so long. It reminded me of when I was a kid, living in korea with my lovely mother.

Jake became the air of my life. I started finding it easy to breathe again. We grew so close that I started to feel some way towards him. I was scared. I was scared that it would ruin our friendship, but I guess time had it all written for us. Jake proposed to me at the end of grade 11. I was shocked. I was happy to be more specific. Of course, I said yes.

We would go on dates, we even kissed. But I don't know why... it didn't feel so good.

"Jake...?" I hesitated to speak as he was kissing my neck. It felt nice for a while before it started to feel weird, I was tired maybe. I was just exhausted. "Hm?" He looked up and smiled as his arm was wrapped around my waist, tightly. I stared at him for a while before smiling back and shaking my head, "it feels good." He chuckled, "I know pumpkin." Pumpkin, that's what he would always call me. He went lower and I flinched when his mouth touched my chest. I pushed him away. His eyes furrowed, and he looked sad. My heart hurt. It reminded me of my pet rabbit, he was a big mess. He would always bite my clothes and when I'd push him away, he'd act fussy. "Do you not like me?" It seemed as if my pet rabbit was saying that every time I pushed him away. Of course, I loved him, he was just a big mess. But I loved him. He would ruin all my favourite clothes, he once even peed on my mom's laptop. But I loved him. "Do you not love me?" Huh? I looked up as Jake was staring at me. My eyes widened, "n-no why would you think like that? Of course, I do." I whined as I hugged him hard. He shrugged; I was scared of losing him. He was quick to become the light of my life, he was like the moon for me, I needed him to see in the dark. I wonder if he needed me too.

"Jake?" I called out for him when I saw him in our school corridor. He was talking to his friends, they were laughing. I wonder what was so funny. "Jake?" I called out once again when he didn't seem to notice at first. The silence was quick to take over, his friends quickly looked away as if they were trying to ignore my presence. "Jake?" I called him out for the third time as he smiled at me, "One moment, pumpkin." I nodded as he looked at his friends one last time before wrapping his arm around my waist as we walked to our class together. I had smiled at the gesture; he was always gentle. He had never hesitated to leave his friends to put his attention to me. He was just so sweet. I chuckled as he tickled my sides when we reached the class. Jake didn't used to sit with me; there was this one girl in our class who was friends with Jake, but Jake said she was a fake bitch and if we sat together, she'd spread rumours. I understood, but I was hurt. I looked at him with a pout before looking away. I was sad half the class when someone tickled my side, my eyes sparkled when I found Jake sitting next to me. 'Fuck her.' He mouthed me as I chuckled. 'Fuck her.' I mouthed him back as we both went on focusing on class.

I didn't like his friends, they were weird. They all seemed so fake to me; it was like they were always hiding a side of theirs. It made me wonder if Jake was like them too. I was scared they would influence him, and he'd leave me. "Jake?" so, I thought to talk to him about it, "I don't like your friend group." He looked up from his phone and chuckled, he would laugh a lot. It was like a habit of his. It made me uneasy at times. "Why? You think they don't like you?" How does he know? I did think they didn't like me, but it was not an assumption, I knew it. I was sure. "I just find them very pretentious." He chuckled, that smile again. I looked away. "You're overthinking again, pumpkin."  ...again. He looked at me before turning me to face him, "Nothing is wrong with overthinking, I overthink too." He smiled ear to ear. What was so funny? "Everyone overthinks, but you should not let that make you feel uncertain about yourself. Even if they don't like you, how does that matter? I like you is what matters." I stared into his eyes with love sparkling in mine, for a moment I thought he was the one. "Maybe a kiss would make you overthink less?" He smirked as I stared at him but this time with sad eyes. It almost worked. He stared at my lips before kissing me roughly. He was always so rough with it; so, I pulled off as he raised his eyebrows. "I'm going to go pee." The sly smile again; he'd smile like a Cheshire cat- eerie, condescending. He was always so happy. I stared deep into his eyes as my stomach grumbled, I felt like puking. I quickly went into the bathroom and closed the door. The mirror was quick to stare at me as I was finally alone. It was as if the mirror was judging me. I started at myself for a while before splashing my face with water. "Nothing's wrong, I'm overreacting."

He was the white cane to my blind eyes, but the cane was rotten. It was stinking so horribly that it made me feel sick to my stomach. The smell grew and grew till it was all around me; suffocating me but keeping me yet alive. The smell grew until everyone could smell it but that was the only cane I had. That was the only support to my blind eyes. If I had ditched that cane, my blind eyes would have lead me to my end.. or was I wrong? What do i do? Or maybe I've already done what had to be done. It's all in the past now. I've moved on. It's all in the past.