Ins and Outs of Anti-Fairies

The Swap

A/N: This is another FOP fanfiction. I feel like the show missed out on a lot of interesting concepts, and this story is an example of one of them.

Timmy's POV: "No, no, no! Cosmo, I wished for sugar, not boogers!" I exclaimed, the green-haired fairy having poofed up a cup full of snot. "You really can't blame him, Timmy. Cosmo is *different* from other fairies." Wanda said, poofing an X-ray machine, which she put in front of Cosmo. "See? He's literally smooth-brained, not a wrinkle in sight." 

"Oooh, something tickles. Wanda, are you tickling me?" he said. "In other words, he's a moron. And I still fell in love with him somehow. And here we are, nearly 10,000 years later. But for some reason, if he changed, it just wouldn't be the same." Wanda said, thinking back fondly. I was now somehow more interested. "I know you've told me the story before, but I never get tired of hearing it. Could you please tell me it again?" I asked. Wanda nodded. "One trip down memory lane, coming up!" she said, as a portal appeared. "What's the portal for?" I asked. "I've told you, but this time, I'd rather show you. Come on." she said. We both stepped through the portal and were instantly transported back to when my godparents first met. "Cosmo was always a klutz. Observe." Wanda said, pointing towards a high school aged Cosmo, which was really weird. He was gathering his books, when a pink-haired fairy that could only be Wanda during high school, floated up beside him. 

"Excuse me, Cosmo, is it? I was wondering if you could show me where Fairy Archery is being held." she asked. The teenaged Cosmo turned a bit too fast and hit Wanda with his elbow. "Oh, sorry! About that class, it's right over there." he pointed to his right, and poked Wanda in the eye. "Ow! Are you stupid or something?" she asked, which I couldn't help laughing at. "Well, according to most of my teachers, I'm "mentally challenged", whatever that means." he said.

I laughed even harder at his answer, and Wanda rolled her eyes. "See? Klutz." she said. We were suddenly whisked away into a different memory. "Soon, the evening of the high school prom came. And being Cosmo, he delivered his invitation in his own way. See for yourself." she said. We were back following past Wanda, this time approaching and unlocking her locker, in which she found a jarring sight: Something that appeared to be an undercooked meatloaf with an envelope clumsily crammed inside. She dug through the meat obviously disgusted and pulled out the envelope, tearing it open. "Here's what it said, sport." Wanda said, gracefully waving her wand above us. It revealed the message "Wanda, will you go to prom with me?" It was messily written with several spelling errors, but I could read it all the same. Wanda then transported us to another memory, which was what looked like a gym dressed up for a special event. Young Cosmo was casually approaching Young Wanda. "Oh, it's you." she said, obviously annoyed.

"Yeah, sorry about the meatloaf, my mom has rules about me preparing meat in the oven, so I thought "Hot water isn't that different." he said. I immediately laughed harder than I had previously, and Wanda had to calm me down, though she had a slight grin on her face. "Yeah, that's why I laughed silently. It was still very funny. That Cosmo has a way with words..." she said, trailing off. We returned to watching the two lovestruck fairies. "Hey, you want some punch?" Young Cosmo asked. Young Wanda nodded. "Sure, I'd love some. OW!" she exclaimed as he delivered her a right hook. "You really ARE stupid! I meant getting me a drink, wise wings!" she exclaimed, poofing up a bolt of lightning to strike Young Cosmo. "Wow, that was electrifying! NNNGH!" he groaned as another bolt of lightning hit him. She stared at him angrily. "Next time, I won't be as lenient!" she yelled. I looked at Wanda. "He actually punched you?" I asked. "The thing about fairies and other magical creatures, sport, is that we can get hurt, but the effects aren't lasting."

"That is true. I've seen you guys in terrible conditions that never really last long." I said. "Have you ever seen me angry, sport?" Wanda said. "I have, but I block every instance out of my memory, and they stay out." 

"Wise choice, unlike some green fairy I know!" Wanda said. "But anyway, back to the story. So after I proved that lightning can indeed strike twice in the same place, the idiot actually did get me some punch, but not before tripping on his laces, which was a little funny."

Suddenly, a puff of blue smoke caught our attention. "Hello, Clarice." a familiar voice said. "Anti-Cosmo? What're you doing here?" I asked. "Oh, no reason, just popping for a spot of tea, maybe a scone." he said, poofing up both. "I don't like this, people like Anti-Cosmo don't show up for no reason. Especially when it involves us, which it undoubtedly will." Wanda said. 

"I do say, where's the green one? The nitwit?" Anti-Cosmo asked. "Tangled up in a mess of string over in the corner. Now, Wanda, does this story have a happy ending?" I asked. "The proof's right here. sport. 10,000 long years later, Cosmo and I are still married. Tugs at your heartstrings, doesn't it?" Wanda asked. "Cosmo's certainly tugging at some kind of string." I replied. Suddenly, a rumbling and a cloud of smoke dissipating revealed the intimidating figure of Jorgen Von Strangle. "Couldn't you give us a warning when you're about to poof into my room? Ash isn't easy to get out of wood, even with magic!" I exclaimed. "I could, but what fun would that be? I'm here for Anti-Cosmo. He escaped Anti-Fairy World." Jorgen explained. "Didn't you have the place redone and super-reinforced so that no magical being no matter how strong could possibly escape?" I asked. "Indeed, I did, puny Timmy Turner, but Anti-Cosmo was the one exception."

Jorgen grabbed Anti-Cosmo by his wings. "But it won't be happening again! After I've stripped him of his intelligence, wings, and magic! HA HA HA HA!" With that, Jorgen poofed away with Anti-Cosmo. "Good riddance, I say." I said. "Indeed, Timothy. Would you be a dear and have Wanda poof up my afternoon tea? I'm feeling peckish." a voice said. "Anti-Cosmo?! But you just left with Jorgen!" I exclaimed. "I may have done a slight switcheroo and put dear Cosmo in my body and myself in his. Granted his fashion sense is abhorrent, but it'll have to do. Now then, where's that tea?"

That's when I realized that to get Cosmo back, I was going to have to go with Wanda to perform a rescue mission to a place that fairies dare not tread: Anti-Fairy World.