Millie:
So here I am on my way to my new school, on my way to start a new life after I was shattered by my last. I should be happy that my parents are giving me the opportunity to start over again, but I don't feel like I deserve this new chance of life. Not without him, not while knowing that I am the one left, not him. My thoughts are interrupted by my little sister Amelia screeching next to me. „Oh my god Millie and Theo are you you seeing this ? That is the prettiest freaking school I have ever seen." Theo snorts „ Damn Lia how can you be so excited about a school." Poking my elbow in his side, I say „ Let her be Theo. That's called having emotions, something you obviously don't have." „Millie you realize I am the older one? So stop giving me a lesson here." But the smile on his face, although he is trying to hide it, shows that he is just joking. I love them both! Theo and Amelia are always there for me and especially in the last months, they have been a great support.
Nervousness is seething up my blood and I catch myself trying to suppress it. In new situations I tend to be a nervous wreck, but in the last seventeen years of my life I managed to learn how to overplay it with a nice smile and crossed fingers. This way I come off as the unproblematic and nice girl, that almost everyone seems to see in me. And that's how I have been surviving through every. single. new. day.
Amelia was definitely right the school does look incredibly beautiful and I doubt that I ever saw a prettier school. Although to be fair I have never visited any schools other than my old one in Vancouver.
The driveway ends right before the campus, the school is huge and almost looks like a castle. The windows are big and a huge entrance door welcomes the students, everyone is wearing their school uniform. Most girls wear a dark blue skirt, a white blouse, a blue and grey striped tie and a short dark blue blazer. The boys uniform is very similar, except the dark blue chino pants and a much longer blazer, but there are also some girls who are wearing pants. I feel the nervousness coming up again, because even though I look just like them in my new uniform, I still feel very different. At my old school I had a place, I was known for my ice skating skills and people appreciated me for it. I had a group that I belonged to, a hobby that I would do everyday after school and most importantly I had my best friend by my side who I could always turn to when I felt out of place. But here I have no one, my siblings are in different classes and I no longer skate which also leaves me without any group I belong to. Everything has changed and all the things that I loved about my life and that I had fun doing are now gone. Not only have I lost my Best Friend but also the sport that was my whole life and always distracted me from everything no matter what happened.
Our chauffeur Loui stops and Theo, Amelia and I get out of the car, he gives us a big smile like he does every morning before school and then he drives away. And here we are the three of us just standing in front of this big building filled with so many new people and things that we do not know. I can already feel the first people looking at us and then Theo gives me a nod and we start walking towards the entrance door, we only know that we need to go to the head masters office but were that is, well we'll see. As we walk by all the other students Am grabs my arm and I give her an ensuring smile. I tighten my shoulders and walk straight with a relaxed face, convincing myself that I am strong enough for this.
I hear some whisper along the lines of „Who's that?" „New students, in November?" I decide to ignore them and to just continue walking. The Entrance hall is big and pretty, painted in light colours, pictures from the old headmasters are hanging on the walls and other decorations that display how old and traditional the school really is. Theo looks at me with a uncertain look, I immediately realize what he is asking me so I whisper „I don't know, how about we try the stairs?" He just nods and we walk up the stairs, they are really pretty made out of light wood and nice handlings. I see a group of boys and girls standing at the top of the stairs, one of them says something to the group and suddenly everyone turns around to look at us. There is one boy with brown hair and I feel like his green eyes are so light that I can already look right into them even though we are still far away from them. The girls start to whisper to each other, except one girl who just looks at us and when she realizes that I catch her looking she gives me a smile and I can see her dimples showing. The others seem to loose interest in us and turn around again, only the boy looks at us a few seconds longer, while his green eyes are on my face and this time I just pretend to not realize he is staring right at me. Theo gives him a dirty look and the green eyed boy turns around again. When we walk past them a boy with black curls shouts „You new here?". Theo turns around an says „Positive. Where do we find the headmaster?" A really pretty blond girl answers „Down the hall." and her look is so intense I am quite sure she finds Theo attractive. This is not new for me, girls seem to obsess over my brother and I am used to it. I know he doesn't intend to but Theo breaks hearts, nearly as much as he breaths. I see how unsure Am feels and grab her hand, just a few seconds but she takes a deep breath and relaxes. And when we finally stand in front of the head masters office, I can still see those deep but light green eyes.
Theo knocks and a secretary opens the door. „We are the Reid Siblings." "Oh of course the Head Master is already expecting you." She replies to him while her little glasses are sliding down her nose a little further with every word that she says. She points to the door again and this time it's Am who knocks and very shortly after a male voice calls us in.
The Headmasters office is big, the walls are filled with bookshelves and in the middle is a desk and behind it sits a man in his fifties with a suit and obviously bleached hair. He looks at us and gives us a welcoming smile „The Reid siblings, how nice. Please take a seat." When we sit down he continues: „ Theodore, Olivia and Amelia. How nice to have you at my school you are going to be a big enrichment for us. With you on our ice hockey team Theodore and the both of you on the Ice skating team. I have read your files and the records of your old school are very promising. I stiffen a little by him mentioning Ice skating and panic crawls up in me. „ I am sorry sir, but I won't continue Ice skating at your school." He frowns a little but the continues by politely saying „That's a pity. I heard you have a lot of talent. What school Team do you want to join then? Maybe Ballett or Ice hockey?" What? Shit I can't decide right now... I don't want to do another sport but I will not continue Ice skating. Never again. „Neither, I think something new will be great." He looks even more confused but hides it immediately behind a professional mask: „You are coming in the middle of the term. I am sorry but most of the teams are full and we only do exceptions for talents. But there are still spots in the math club, the robotic club, the science club and the news paper of the school. Our sport teams are full, or are you interested in Horse riding?" Oh god no horses, not to sound rude but I don't like trusting other Beings when it comes to my performances. I am a very determined person and don't like to fail. I once trusted someone else in sports and see were that got me. Damn I really hate being attached to something. So I just say: „The newspaper sounds great and I would love to join." I give him a fake smile and he nods, „ Great what about you both?" Theo answers quickly: „I stick with ice hockey thank you Sir." „I would like to do Ballett and Iceskating if that is possible." Amelia says a little shy but with a straight and relaxed face. „Of course Ms. Reid that's great. We appreciate talent and determination here at this school. That brings me to the rules of the Cornwall Private School..." He Continues by giving us a endless speech about the history and tradition of the school and tells us about the academical opportunity's we have. I choose Englisch Literature, Psychology, Math and French, the program of the school is Great but I still need to get my points. Theo and Amelia seem happy with their choices and I relaxe a little.
This is a new start and I start to realize how much we all need this. Leaving the past behind, even though I know that I can't completely forget about him, he was always there and now he is not. And with him another part of me left. My passion for Ice skating, I always loved it and it was my isle in the storm but now without it, I don't think I deserve to be happy while he isn't, while he is nothing at all , not anymore.
