Reckoning in the Sunshine State

Chapter One

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

I looked up at the clock in the far right corner of the room. I picked at my nails, a bad habit I picked up recently instead of digging my nails into my arms to point where blood would be drawn.

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

The sound just irked me so much. I stared at the clock. It looked about a few steps away but too high for my 5'7 height to reach, unless I maybe jumped.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

It just went on and on. Who the fuck still has old school clocks like this anyway? Digital is the new era anyways, don't people realize how distracting these clocks are, how annoying they are. How these clocks can make a person... consider getting violent.

Tick. Tick. Ahem.

My head snapped back to the person in front of me. The woman had brown hair and green eyes, Caucasian women roughly in her early 50s. You could tell she took care of her face with Botox as there was no way a natural face would have no forehead wrinkles with the look she was giving me. She wore a blue blouse and black slacks.

No lab coat thankfully as the last psychiatrist wore one making me feel like they were trying to exercise some kind of authority or message that they went to school and worked their ass off and they should be acknowledged too as a doctor. This doctor however, probably found it more considerate to not wear a lab coat with patients around. I liked this about her, I felt more sincerity with her then the last doctor for sure.

Tick.

That fucking soun-

The sound of her clearing her throat again pulled me back in. She frowned, forehead not creasing despite her concerned look.

"I'm sorry, what was the question again?" She didn't sigh nor express any frustration, she was professional despite her probably calling for my attention a few times already.

"How long have the nightmares been going for?" She asked in a calm steady voice. Her voice held a slight sound of sympathy.

"About two years, though probably much longer. To be quite honest I have always had nightmares. They've just gotten a lot worse recently," I stated. She wrote something down on her clipboard.

"This is due to the recent incident, correct?" She asked but I didn't entirely feel it necessary for her to mention it. My thoughts wandered. I looked at the right hand corner of the room at the clock.

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

I began shaking my leg matching the rhythm of the clock. I looked back at her, patiently waiting for my response. She was so kind, she wasn't like my previous psychiatrist back in Delaware.

"Sure, it's related to that but I'd rather not talk about that," I said a little too rushed. Did she notice the strain in my voice? It cracked just a little so she probably heard it. She nodded her head writing down more notes. She compared it to another piece of paper. My previous doctor's notes and list of my current medications I had handed her when I first walked in.

"I see you're taking Halcion in conjunction with Lexapro?" She asked me. I nodded my head.

"Yes, but I will be stopping the Halcion this week. I was on it for about a year before my last doctor wanted to switch me due to the side effects I was having." I looked down at my shaking leg that had picked up speed and looked back at the clock on the right. I didn't hear it anymore but I saw that it was still moving.

"You are also taking Wellbutrin XL?" she asked and I scowled looking back down at my leg.

"No, I stopped taking that. I have to wake up early and that has messed with my sleep schedule. I can't sleep, I get cotton mouth and my cardiologist mentioned I should consider asking for a different medication due to the fact that I already have SVT and this has made it a lot worse." She nodded, writing down more notes.