Full Switch

Don't say it... - 58💦

The bill had been paid and you and Taehyung were chatting at the table.

"Tae I - I wanted to tell you something," you said to him. Taehyung tensed up, sitting his drink down.

"We should get going," he murmured, avoiding eye contact and standing up.

"Oh - yeah okay, we can talk on the way home," you replied, getting up as well. You headed out, walking down the sidewalk in the night air, the streetlights leading the way. The night was warm but the air was humid and smelled like rain. "Tae-"

"Listen Gray," he said, his hands in his pockets. "Don't say anything that will change things." You froze.

"What?"

"You've been telling the guys that you love them - but I don't think I'm ready for that."

"Oh..." you felt a crushing weight on your chest at his words. "But... that's okay. I don't expect anyone to say it back I just need you to know that I-"

"Don't," he said, rounding on you, his voice suddenly angry. "Don't say it, please."

"Why not? It's the truth Tae!"

"How can it be true? How can you love all of them and love me too? Maybe you don't know what love actually means. You have seven boyfriends - this isn't sustainable Gray, what do you think is going to happen?" The first raindrops began to fall, sprinkling lightly down around the two of you, dotting the warm pavement that quickly soaked up the moisture. You felt like the breath had been knocked out of you, your throat tight and thick.

"Yeah? What are you insinuating Tae? And keep in mind as you insult my choices that you are one of them," you said, your tongue lashing sharply to cover the hurt. "If you want out why don't you just say so."

"I didn't say I wanted out, I said I didn't want change-" he replied, his voice rising as he began to pick up. You turned away from him and began walking quickly, fighting tears and trying to get to cover from the rain. You heard his footsteps quickly following you. "I didn't sign up for this! You can't get mad at me, you're the one who's changing the game!" He said, his voice rising.

"I'm not mad-" you choked out, your throat constricted with rising tears. "I'm not asking anything of you Tae, I understand, I just wanted you to know that I love you." He grabbed your arm and spun you around to look at him - his eyes were shining with tears too.

"How can you say that to me? When you've already said it to the others?" He demanded.

"It's not a limited resource, am I supposed to only love one person for the rest of my life? That's bullshit!" You shouted. "You're telling me you don't love anyone? You don't love Jiminie and your hyungs and Jungkook? You can say you don't love me, that's fine I'm not asking you to, but don't tell me that I don't love you." You shook his hand off your arm and stormed away again, swiping at your eyes. You knew it had been too easy up until now, knew that confessing feelings was painful. But this was killing you. The rain didn't let up, light drops turning into a steady fall as you stormed down the sidewalk.

"I'm scared," you heard a voice shout over the rain. You turned back to see Taehyung standing in the middle of the sidewalk watching you go. You swallowed heavily and paused, waiting. He began to walk slowly toward you. "I'm terrified okay? What if we all say we love you and then you decide you only want some of us? Or one of us? Or what if you decide you want none of us and you leave?" As he drew closer you realized he was crying.

"Tae, I-"

"No," he insisted as he reached you. The rain increased and he grabbed your arm and tugged you down and alley with a little bit of an overhang to hide under. "I've been abandoned too many times. The guys and I have been together for a long time, but you-"