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tale as old as time • part two

this is a continuation of the previous chapter, tale as old as time.

-

Present day...

Taylor recalls, at one point in her childhood, learning why lying was never a good idea. She remembers a snowball metaphor. A lie may begin very small, seemingly insignificant, but as you maintain the lie it becomes bigger, more stressful and unmanageable. So you should never lie in the first place, to avoid this snowball (among other, ethical-related, reasons).

This is how her life felt. Like one, massive, uncontrollable snowball. Although, she maintained the belief that she wasn't lying. Travis knew she wasn't okay.

5 months ago...

For about a month after The Cupcake Incident (, that's what she called it in her mind), Taylor was all smiles around Travis. Mostly, it came naturally. Travis would always make her happy, regardless of how she's doing mentally. It's only when she had moments to herself, where her mind would run wild, and she'd begin to feel that suffocating sensation creep back towards her. So, during these moments, she'd do one of two things. Either she'd force it down, focus on what was real, Travis loved her and she loved him. Or, when that felt impossible, she'd run away. She found solace in her instruments. Coping disguised as working, was how she thought of it. She could tell that Travis was becoming less worried. And she felt like she was becoming less worried. It was manageable, at least, until it wasn't.

3 months ago...

Taylor had never slept amazingly. For many stretches in her life, her nights had been plagued by nightmares, resulting in Taylor often avoiding sleep in fear of waking up struggling to breathe, covered in sweat, and sometimes screaming. However, she'd also experienced the opposite; lying in silence for hours each night, desperate but unable to fall asleep. And this is what was happening again.

Travis definitely noticed, but she wasn't sure to what extent. It wasn't a new thing in their relationship, for him to wake up in an empty bed, but it was noticeably beginning to happen more.

"Taylor?" Travis had asked down the hallway one night.

"I'm in here," Taylor spoke as he approached the living room.

"Hey baby girl, why are you up? It's almost two."

"I never fell asleep," Taylor pouted, which turned into a wide smile as he leaned over the back of the couch to kiss her. She moaned into his mouth, and whined when he pulled away.

"You're going to be tired tomorrow," Travis said, stroking her cheek fondly with the back of his fingers.

Taylor shrugged, smiling, "I'll be fine. Why are you awake?"

"I guess I missed you in my sleep," Travis grinned, earning a giggle from Taylor. "Why don't you come back to bed, baby, try to get some proper rest."

"Okayyy, help me up."

"Yes madam," Travis playfully bowed, holding out his hand.

She fell asleep, eventually, after two hours of alternating between staring at Travis' sleeping face, and the ceiling.

-

It only got worse, the streak of awful sleeps stretching on and on, with no end in sight. After a while of no midnight talks, Taylor thought Travis had grown accustomed to sleeping without her and had stopped waking up. She was lying on the grass outside, staring up at the night. Clouds enveloped the sky, so Taylor was occupying her mind by imagining the stars. She was trying to remember constellations when she heard the back door slide open, and footsteps pad across the deck.