Stolen Pain

ACT ONE PART THREE: CHAPTER THREE

A/N- Words: 2,333

Haneul's POV

When I woke up, I started to second guess everything. I was so sure of myself, that I could and would kill Caesar. But what if I don't succeed in killing him? What if I fail in my duty? What if the war never ends? What if the war wins, but we lost and England won? What if I die? What if I become a martyr? What if I become a hero tho? What if I become a legend? But the most cruel thing that could happen is this is a kind of sick dream. A dream to cope with my trauma. Oh. That's not fair brain.
What if I'm just a living being that is being forced to live in a world that I'm not ready for? I'm being sacrificed in a way to save the world. What if I'm not ready to save the world? Has anyone thought of what I want? I want to find love, a happy and long life with no more trauma from anything. I have had enough trauma, thank you very much.
What if I win the war and find love and I get to live a happy and long life? Maybe I should go ahead and kill Caesar. If I win the war, I would be accepted. I should be able to live the life I want to win.
It took not even a full day for my life to change and flip over. It didn't change for the better, it changed for the worse. It's been 4 hours and thirty minutes. It's eight thirty now, and I'm lost. It's been 270 minutes since my life has changed for the worst. I feel indifferent to how the fate of the war is held in my hands, if I succeed or if I don't succeed. I know it's bad that I think this, but I hope I succeed in killing the Prince.
I don't want anybody else I care about to die. I know death is extremely common, so I'll do anything to end the war. I don't want anybody I care about to get hurt or to lose anyone. I know death is supposed to be common in war, but I don't wan't to be the reason people die unless it's for my fucking job. Why the fuck did it have to be, why did it have to be me. I'm not ready to be a murder. I know I was forced to kill animals, but that's different. They were old and it was okay, we got food. It's different if it is a human. I think I'm more scared to kill someone than anything else.
I have to go to England in the morning, and I can't tell anyone who I am. I have to kill myself in order to successfully manipulate the king, queen, and Prince of England. Well, not really kill myself. Something way worse, I have to deny who I am, I can't be myself when I'm around them. I'll be losing myself and I guess I'm also afraid that I'll lose myself, and I won't be able to remember who I really am.
I want them to know I am Korean, but they can't know. I am proud of my Korean heritage, it's not something I'm afraid of and not proud of. I'm glad I'm Korean. I don't know what I would do if I wasn't Korean. It's going to be painful, not being myself. But then again, I haven't been myself in a long time.
It's now 6 am, and I'm laying awake on my bed. I'm staring at the ceiling, rethinking and overthinking. Rethinking and overthinking about what? Life probably. I slowly get out of bed, and make my way towards my dresser. There's a pair of clothes laying on it, they are upper class clothes. Far fancier than anything I have ever worn, or ever seen.
I pick up the clothes, and walk towards the bathroom. I set them on the counter and grab a towel, also putting it on the counter. I close the door, and get into the shower. Oh. My. Gods. Hot water. I love hot water. You see, we only had cold water for the house back at my home with my dad. He only wanted the hot water for the animals and everything else that wasn't for the humans.
I don't think I'm ever going to leave the shower, I'm just going to stay here. Never ever going to go back to cold showers. I would rather be dead than do that. I eventually get done with the shower, once I can't feel the hot water anymore. I dry off, and once I'm fully dry I put on the upper class clothes. It's so smooth and comfortable. I have not once felt this much comfort at all in my life.
I get out of the shower, and make my way out of the bathroom. I walk towards the front of my house, and I put on my boots. It's now 6 fifteen, I took a ten minute show with no regrets. I walked out of my house and headed towards the cafeteria. I hear someone calling my name, so I begrudgingly stop walking looking back at the unknown person.
Sadly, it was Ae-Ri. I groan and roll my eyes. "What?" Do I care that I am being even more aggressive and rude, no. Should I, yes. Will I, no.
"The King wanted me to tell you that you'll be leaving right after breakfast. I'll escort you straight to our private plane for you to fly to London.' Ae-Ri says and walks straight inside the cafeteria.
I grumble, and follow after her. I grab some food, walking to the back of the cafe, wanting to sit alone. Much to my dismay, Ae-Ri sits next to me and she also starts eating. I'm glad we're sitting in silence, so I don't have to deal with anything or any conversations.
I decided to break the silence, "Can I get some stuff before I have to leave for England?"
"Of course." Ae-Ri says.
We go back to silence and I soon finish eating. I put everything away, and make my way back to my house. I ignore Ae-Ri as she follows me. I walk into my bedroom, and I grab four journals. One of the journals is about my mission, another journal is about random stuff I think of, another journal is my diary, and the last journal is going to be my letter journal, where I write letters to people, and they say what I want to really say. I grab all of my self care stuff and then I grab my clothes. I put all of that in a luggage trunk.
It took me a solid ten minutes getting everything ready, since I'm still fully packed. I also grab a book to read on the plane. I walk out of my room and walk back to Ae-Ri. "I'm ready."
"Good. Let's go." Ae-Ri says and she leads me to the private plane.
I get on the plane, ignoring Ae-Ri. I slowly say goodbye and that I'll write to her.
"You don't have to. I'll be joining you in two days for updates." She says.
"Okay. See you then." I say and put my stuff away, looking outside from the plan, waiting for takeoff.

Caesar's POV

When my father had the crazy idea to hire an assassin to kill the Korean king, King Byeong-ho, I knew shit was going to happen. I have heard stories about how ruthless the king is, how he won't hesitate to kill someone. He kind of reminds me alot like my own father, King Arlyn. My father is extremely ruthless and he also has no patience. My father won't hesitate to kill someone, and he thrives on war.
My mother and I are the exact opposite, and we don't want to hurt anyone or anything unless they deserve it. We don't like the idea of wars and battles too. I despise and hate how my father acts, how he is ruthless and how he acts.
I asked my dad why he hired an assassin to kill King Byeong-ho, and he just said it was because he was bored. My father taught me that in order to be the best King was to be ruthless and to not feel things. If you feel things, everything is just going to hurt you even more, kill your feelings and become emotionally numb and dead.
My mother on the other side told me that it's okay to feel things and to not be ruthless. We need to be human, and if we listen to my dad we won't be human. My mother and I always go out and help our citizens, instead of sitting inside the castle ignoring them.
My father has nicknames that I love. They're honestly much better than his real name. They are "War Starter" and "Fat Pig.". He always starts wars and he is fat, so that's why he gets called that. My father likes to brag that before he was King and there was a battle and/or a war going on he was always on the battlefield, leading his men.
Now that he is King, he's just a big ass pussy and hides in his castle feeling safe and secure. Sometimes I wish someone would kill him that way. I know for a fact London would be better without him, but I'm not ready for my father to die just because I'm not ready to rule England even with the help of my mom.
I feel bad most of the time, for thinking dark thoughts about my father. I mean if it wasn't for him and for my mother I wouldn't be alive. I love my father, I really do, but there's days where he is too much and I can't do much about it. I hate how my father rules the kingdom, I'm glad he is letting me be more in charge. Most of the laws are getting changed and replaced by better human laws. Most of the laws that are getting passed and the decisions that are happening are because of my mom and I. My dad is giving up the law for me, so I can start making laws and being more mature.
Nobody likes hearing a woman's thoughts, so the majority of the time my mother and I are coming up with ideas. We put them together and let people know, they think that I'm the only one who's coming with ideas, not my mom and I. I think it's hilarious that the citizens are accepting the ideas, decisions, and laws that are both mine and my mother's ideas combined. There are times where I even come up with ideas that are better than my parent's and half of the citizens hate it, and the other half of them love it.
My mother used to tell me stories about my father when they were younger and first started to date and my father was nice. I think the reason why my father is like this is because when my father first became King his parents died in the war that was going on. My father was only 20, when his parents died because of a war.
My father was a decent and nice human being when I was younger, and when I was a baby and such, but I think it was only an act. My father acts like all he cares about is his citizens, or as he calls them his people. My father is like a dictator, but he has his perks sometimes. He's not taxing people as hard as he was, their taxes were very high. I think my mother is convincing my father to be a better King, and to be a better father. It's too late though. When I was a little kid, my father spent a lot of time with me. However, as I grew older and I could start learning how to rule a kingdom, and how to be a good King my father grew harsher.
It's May 20th, 1860 and my mother and father told me that I am getting a bodyguard, just because of the amount of death threats I'm getting. My mother told me that my guard's name is Haneul, and he would be arriving tomorrow at the latest and it was my job to show him around and tell him the rules. My mother wanted me to get to know him, as soon as he got here so I had to spend the whole entire day with him. I mean I'm glad I'm getting an excuse to not have to deal with my Father for the entire day, but I know he's going to force more information into my brain the next day.
In a way I think the bodyguard is my mother's idea, even though my father said it was his idea. I'm glad I'll get a bodyguard. I hope we will become friends, and I hope he is someone I can rant to and tell them all about myself and such. I hope he lets us become friends, if he won't then it will be a one-sided friendship.
I wonder what would've happened if my father never lost his parents the way he did, and if there wasn't a war going on. I think my family would be a little happier, and that my relationship with my father is strong like the one I have with my mother. I want a good relationship so that they get to know their grandparents, and not be like me where I never got to know my grandparents. I might be twenty four and a whole life in front of me to worry about kids, but my mother keeps pressuring me into marriage talk and such. Maybe I don't want a wife. I might want a husband.