T H E - A N T A G O N I S T (Joseph Descamps)

Chapter 5: Infirmary

"That's it girls, heads held high don't let the audience get a look at those sagging chins."

Mr. Debet teeters around taking one last look at all the dresses, his eyes grazing over our bodies, ensuring absolute perfection. He looks upon us with tearful deceit, to the average person one might think that he was proud of us, what with the way he swooned so precariously at the sight of his finished creation. But I knew better, we were just the clothing hangers- the true art was what enclosed our bodies. Soft silks, sprouting tulle and tough canvas lined our skin as we prepared to walk down stage.

The young girl in front of me shifts uncomfortably, I notice she's been stuck with the halter neck and thick mini-skirt; Newly made popular by Mary Quant. She's thin like a waif, just as we all are. Her bare bottom is threatening to peek out of the skirt and I see her trying to pull it down. I reach for her hand instinctively.

"Don't do that." I whisper.

"What?"

"Don't touch the clothes, if he sees you touching the clothes he'll throw you out." I release her hand and shift myself back into place.

She stares at me stunned for a second, frowning, then turns back towards the curtain.

I hear Mr. Debet gave his opening speech and with that I take to the floor. The eyes of many watch me as I move, one leg in front of the other. A single turn, a flirtatious look and an award winning smile.

They love me, and in that moment I love them. Their affection is mine alone, they hold their breath and anticipate my next step, ever captivated by my beauty. I'm a star, and my brightness is to be enjoyed, to be delighted in, to be amazed by.

Step, step. I arrive behind the curtain. Mr. Debet gives me a once over, nodding dismissively. I inhale with the recognition that I've done well today. I wonder if my pay will come quicker than last months, but I wouldn't bet on it. I steal myself away behind a panel, removing my bubble sleeved dress and slipping into my backstage clothes.

As I return to stand with the other finishing girls I catch a glance in the large makeup vanity. Andrew Manneti- Mr. Debet's youngest adopted son- stares back at me from the adjacent lounge. He smiles, a deep smugness etched into his lips, raising his glass of wine, beckoning me over. I swallow the lump in my throat and do as I'm told.

And with that, my light burns out. The star blinks away and I come face to face with my impending reality.

***

The girls are all hurriedly shoving their gym strip on when I enter.

"Hurry up Marianna!" Simone says, readjusting her little hair clips.

I look down at her upper thigh to see the bruise she had been nursing previously. I purse my lips upon seeing how deeply purple and black the welt was and quicky look away to avoid making her self-conscious, I'm not quick enough.

"It's awful isn't it!" "No-no of course not!" "I knew it, does someone have something I can wrap around my waist-" "there's no time, we'll meet you out there Marianna."

Michele tugs on Simone's wrist, anxious to get PE over with. The two of them run off into the gymnasium leaving me to get dressed. I rummage around in my bag, digging out my old PE attire from middle school. I hold them up for a moment and it dawns on me- I may have grown a little since then. This was shaping up to be a humiliating day.

Annick comes in quietly, dressing next to me. I manage to get my white collared top on with ease, unsurprising as my boobs haven't grown a single size since I was 11. My body does however find limitations when I pull my shorts on, they're tight to my thighs and don't come up on my hips, I pout and stare down at my legs, turning my head to see Annick staring.