This Wasn't Meant To End Like This

I Think I Like You... Too Soon?

    It was the day of Matthew's birthday and I was excited but also nervous, the only person I knew was Matthew.
"Good morning dad" I said as I arrived downstairs.
"Morning! Excited for the party tonight?" He asked,
I shrugged and said "Sort of."
"Don't worry sweetheart, if you feel like you've had enough, call me and I'll come pick you up whenever you want." He said.
I nodded and said "I will."
As the day passed, I was convincing myself that it'll be alright and that I shouldn't stress myself out over nothing. It was seven PM and I started getting ready, I made sure my braids were clean, I made sure my nails were clean, I put some light makeup on, which I never did. At best, the only thing I ever put on was mascara and neatened up my eyebrows. As eight PM arrived, I went downstairs to show dad my outfit and makeup.
"What do you think?" I asked him.
He stared at me with the biggest smile on his face and shook his head, "You look beautiful, really beautiful" he said.
"Thanks" I replied.
We were driving to Matthew's house, he had sent me the address beforehand. It was like a twenty minute drive from our home. We pulled up in front of his home.
"Is this it?" Dad asked.
"I suppose so... I mean there's music blasting from inside." I said
"Have fun, remember no alcohol, no drugs or any other shady activities. Got it?" He said
"Yes dad, I know" I said before getting out of the car.
I knocked on the door patiently waiting for someone to answer. Matthew opened the door and gave me a hug. I turned back to dad and waved him goodbye before he drove off.
"You look pretty" Matthew said
"I do?" I asked, slightly shocked at his compliment
"Yeah, you really do." He said as he took my hand and led me into his home. It was huge. It was luxurious and very very clean. It was one of those townhomes that everyone dreams of living in. The music was blasting loudly and everyone seemed to be having a good time. It was only around eight thirty and the home was full of people. Matthew was still holding my hand and leading me around the house, we arrived in one of the kitchens and a few other people were there. Three boys and four girls.
"Guys, this is Jodie. My friend." He said
They all said Hello to me and asked me questions about myself.
"Want anything to drink?" One of the girls asked
"Um, no thanks" I said
"Oh come on," another girl urged.
I chuckled nervously and said "I'd rather not."
"You scared?" One of the guys asked.
I furrowed my brows and stayed silent. Matthew took note of this and intervened by saying "I have some apple juice if you'd prefer that"
I smiled and nodded. He then went to get me a glass of apple juice and gave it to me. I smiled and thanked him.
As the night went by, more people came in and the party got more and more crowded, more and more noisy and overall just very overwhelming. I wasn't used to this type of environment or lifestyle, I was used to being a loner and not being surrounded by a lot of people. Only my dad and Lily. Luckily, Matthew stayed with me for most of the evening, until he disappeared and I found myself sitting on the couch. To my left a girl was sniffing something. I didn't even want to assume what it was. To my right two girls were swallowing each other's faces. I was just... in the middle. I eventually decided to get up and walk around the house to explore a little. I walked into the second kitchen and saw one of Matthew's friends. The same friend who taunted me about my dad and who I spilt water over.
"Why are you here?" He asked me as he screwed up his face.
"I was invited." I snapped
"By?" He responded.
"Matthew." I said
He looked at me up and down and chuckled at me, mockingly. He sipped whatever liquor was in his glass and sighed before walking out and pushing me in the process. I sighed and looked around. I noticed a bottle of Ciroc Vodka sitting nicely on the table. It was practically calling my name. So I picked it up and drank it. Straight from the bottle. I instantly regretted it and coughed after I drank it. I felt dizzy and nauseated afterwards, but in all honesty I felt pretty good. I continued drinking all sorts of liquor.
"Jodie! Jodie!" I heard yelling from behind me.
I turned behind and saw Matthew, walking towards me and pretty much holding me up.
"What the fuck?" He said, "What are you doing?"
"I'm... drinking this..juice" I said, slurring my words and laughing profusely. He grabbed a bottle of water and started feeding me with it. It was only us two in the kitchen, from what I remember.
Suddenly, I woke up with the most insane headache. I looked around and found myself in a bedroom. Alone. It wasn't my bedroom. I tried to stand up but the headache was insanely painful. The door then swung open and I saw Matthew with a tray.
"Oh, you're awake. I was coming to wake you up" He said "How do you feel now?" He asked.
"Pretty bad headache." I said
"Yeah, that's what happens when you're hung over."
"I need to call my dad" I said
"Don't worry, I already spoke to him and he's coming to get you once he finishes work." Matthew said
I smiled. I headed to the bathroom to freshen up before eating breakfast. Matthew sat patiently waiting for me.
Once I'd finished, I went back into the bedroom and sat down.
"What happened yesterday?" I asked whilst eating the breakfast he made me. It consisted of tea, a croissant and some fruit.
"Well, you went kind of crazy on the alcohol" he answered, "like seriously crazy" he continued.
"Right." I said.
"But don't worry, I made sure nothing bad happened to you" he said whilst smiling at me.
I smiled back and thanked him.
"Oh, Happy Birthday." I said
"Thank You" , "I'm shocked you even remember" he said.
I smiled at him. We sat and ate breakfast together as we watched television. He has his arm over my shoulder and I had my head resting on him. I felt really safe and relaxed with him. As the day passed, I felt a lot better and was getting ready to go back home.
"What did you tell my dad?" I asked him a little worriedly.
"I told him that you could sleep overnight seeing as the party was till late. He said he trusted me and that it was okay." , "I didn't mention you drinking alcohol, don't worry." He said
"Thanks." I said. "Are your parents here?" I asked
"Nope. They went to Dover for the weekend." He said.
"But, it's your birthday? Don't they want to spend it with you?" I asked
"I guess not. They never do to be honest." He answered. "But it's fine, at least you're here." He said smiling at me, I could tell he was upset by their absence.
We spent the next hour talking, making jokes and laughing at stupid stuff. I learned a lot about Matthew and from what he said and also didn't say, I could tell he was pretty lonely as well. Despite him having many friends, a rich family and both parents around. Nobody was really there for him. I liked to think that I was his only real friend but we'd only just met each other properly.
The doorbell then rang. It was my dad. Matthew let him in as I was getting the rest of my things together. As I was walking down the stairs I could hear my dad and Matthew talking.
"Hey Dad." I said
"Hey sweetheart! You okay?" He asked
"I'm fine." I said
"Good." He said as he stood up and looked at Matthew. He nodded to him and shook his hand. "Thank you for keeping her safe." He continued.
We left Matthew's home and headed back to our own.
"He seems like a good guy." My dad said
"He is." I replied
"Where were his parents?" He asked
"They went to Dover. They left him alone on his birthday and went to Dover" I said.
Dad paused and said "That's unfortunate. It's sad."
"Yeah. Really sad and I feel so bad for him" I said
We pulled up at our home and went inside.
The evening went by and before I knew it, it was six AM and I was getting ready for class. First lesson was art with Mr. Forges. Great.
I arrived at college early as usual. I had my earphones in and was listening to music, Mr. Forges walked in and as usual he was cheesing off at me.
"Something wrong Sir?" I asked.
"No, nothing at all." He said unpacking his bag and sitting at his desk.
Students began to walk in and before I knew it class started. I got a message from Matthew. We upgraded from Instagram to actual messaging. Like with a phone number. The text said 'Plz tell Forges that i'll be late today... again! Thanks x.'
As Mr. Forges did the register and it got to Matthew's name, I informed him that Matthew would be late. After about thirty minutes Matthew walked into class, he had a bruise on his eyebrow and a plaster on his finger. He sat down beside me and I immediately turned to look at him.
"What happened to you?" I asked softly
"Nothing, don't worry about it" he said, "What did I miss?" He asked.
"Nothing much, he was just talking about the final project due in June. That we need to work on." I said.
"Yeah, yeah" he said. I could tell he was stressed out about something.
"We could maybe work after school and try to jot down some ideas for it?" I asked
"Totally" he said.
I looked at him with a worried expression.
Lunch time came around and Matthew and I headed towards the canteen and sat down and ate.
"What happened to your face Matthew?" I asked.
"Oh... This?" He asked, chuckling. "It's nothing," he responded.
"Of course it's something Matthew." I said
"Don't worry. It's fine. It's none of your business.", "I mean that in the kindest way possible." He said as he took a bite out of his apple.
I smiled faintly and continued to eat my lunch.
As the day went on, I went to my classes and before I knew it, the end of the day came. I exited the college and saw Matthew standing there waiting for me.
"Ready? Ready to work on our project?" He asked
I nodded and we headed to my house. As we entered, Dad was there.
"Hey Dad, Matthew is here. We have a project to work on." I said as I went to hug my dad.
"Yeah no worries." He said. He smiled and said Hello to Matthew.
We went to my bedroom and sat on my bed and started brainstorming.
"Death." I said
"Very dark stuff." Matthew said, "I mean, then again it's Forges' idea. He is a bit weird." Matthew said.
I laughed and agreed with him. We spent hours trying to brainstorm and conjure up ideas. It was getting late.
My dad knocked on the door before entering and said, "Matt, do you want to stay round for dinner?"
"I'd love to," Matthew replied.
We all sat down and ate dinner together. My dad and Matthew spoke about football, music, work and all sorts. I just listened and had the biggest smile on my face. Watching their interaction was heartwarming.
Matthew suddenly got a call and had to excuse himself from the table.
"He's a good guy," my dad whispered to me.
"I know he is," I whispered back.
Matthew then came back and sat down. He looked a little sad.
"What's up?" My dad asked him.
"Oh, um, my parents aren't home." He said
"Oh, where did they go?" I asked
"They took a little vacation to Spain." He said.
"And forgot that I existed and didn't mean to tell me beforehand. I left my house key at home and cannot get inside it until tomorrow." He said.
My dad and I looked at each other and sighed. We both felt extremely bad for him.
"You can stay here tonight." My dad said.
Matthew's eyes lit up.
"I can? Honestly?" He asked
My dad nodded and smiled.
"Thank you so much Sir" Matthew responded.
"Please, call me Darren," My dad said.
Matthew nodded and smiled.
As night came, Matthew was staying the night. He slept in my room. We layed down. A gap between up. Staring up at the ceiling in the dark.
"Are you awake?" He asked
"I am." I responded.
"Your dad is great. He was kind enough to let me stay." He said
"Yeah my dad is pretty great." I responded.
I felt Matthew moving closer to me. I then felt him hold my hand. I didn't move or anything, I quite liked it. We stayed like this for a good twenty minutes before Matthew drifted off to sleep. He was lightly breathing.
The next day, we both got up and dressed for college. The day went by as usual and as the day came to an end he dropped me off at my house before going back to his. I found it sad but also weird that his parents left him and didn't tell him. He had no way of getting into his house.
As months went by, we were getting closer to our final project date as well as our exam dates. We were already two weeks into May. The stress of exams, the constant studying and the immense amount of pressure that all of us students felt was criminal.
During these months, Matthew and I got really close. As in extremely close. He was pretty much my only friend now seeing that Lily has basically blanked me now she's with Charlie.
I was in the school library studying for my English exam. I then felt a tap on my shoulder and saw Matthew standing there.
"What are you studying?" He asked me
"English." I said
"Haven't you started studying?" I asked him.
"Only Maths." He said
"And I've been brainstorming for the art project." He said. "An hourglass." , "Simple, but very symbolic" he continued.
"Yeah, I guess so." I said.
"What are you doing later on today?" He asked
"Studying." I said , "Which is what you should also be doing" I continued
"No thanks, I'm good," he  said with a grin. "Come on, let's go out somewhere."
"Fine, we can go out somewhere, but not for long." I said
"I promise," he said, grinning.
It was around four thirty PM and we decided to go and eat some food. We went to a pizza place. It was well decorated and wasn't too busy.
"What pizza do you like?" He asked
"Pepperoni." I said
"Basic." He said, chuckling.
I smiled and said "What about you then?"
"I like Mexican pizza. It's spicy." He said.
We ordered the pizzas and soft drinks. We spoke as we always do. I noticed that he was very different. He just wasn't the same as he usually was and it was as if something was bothering him.
"What's up?" I asked him, "You seem... different" I continued.
He looked down at his fingers and started to fiddle with them. He was silent for about a minute before taking a deep breath and saying "You remember that day, I came to class with a messed up eye and a cut finger?"
I nodded "Yeah I do." I said
"My dad punched my face and cut my finger with a knife. He didn't cut it too deep. It was more so a scratch." He said
I stared at him, my face dropped. I was in pain hearing this. I felt bad and honestly didn't know what to say. I immediately moved closer to him and gave him a big hug, I held him tight in my arms and stayed silent.
"I'm so sorry." I said, trying not to break down in tears. How could someone be so cruel to him?
"Don't be sorry." He said
"Why did he do that?" I asked , "You don't have to tell me why if you don't want to." I said
"He tried to hurt my mum. I couldn't let him touch her." He said , "So I stepped in." He continued.
I sighed and held his hand tightly in mine. "You're a good son." I said smiling.
We finished our little pizza date and he walked me home. As we arrived at my door I said
"You can't go back there tonight. Stay here! I'm sure my dad won't mind."
"I can't." Matthew said , "It's ... complicated. They'd go mad if I didn't go back home."
"Tell them you're with a friend. I said. I opened the door and invited him inside. Nobody was inside. I saw a yellow post-it note stuck on the fridge which read 'I'll be back tomorrow! Got called at the last minute for work in Paris :) Glad that my services are appreciated overseas haha! I left you money for the rest of the  week! I love you and will text you everyday! Plz don't trash the house.'
"My dad isn't here. He has gone to Paris for work. So you could totally stay here."  I said
"Please?" I continued.
"I'll call my parents and tell them I'm staying with a friend." He said smiling.
We spent the night watching Skins, laughing at each other's jokes and just enjoying each other's company. It was around twelve AM and Matthew said "Let's go on a walk"
"What? It's midnight" I said
"Exactly! We'll have so much fun, plus it's raining. It just adds on to the aesthetic" He said holding my hand. Before I knew it, we were outside walking down the streets of London holding hands and chatting away. We sat at the bus stop and just stared at the view. London was prettier at night, with all the street lights on, the sound of rain dripping down and the silence. No cars. No crowds of people. Nobody, but us.
Matthew turned to me and held my hands and said "I like you. A lot."
"I like you too" I said
"No I mean, I like you more than a friend. Heck I probably love you but I just haven't realised it yet" he continued
I smiled and looked down. I couldn't make eye contact. He leaned in closer to me and kissed me. He kissed me. Planted his lips onto mine. This was my first ever kiss and it felt exactly what I wanted to feel like. He moved back and stared at me.
"First time eh?" He said , "I could tell."
I'm a little taken back by this comment but laugh it off.
We then went back to my house, kissed a little more and eventually drifted off to sleep. I dreamt about all those kisses. I think I was in love with him. I just... Needed him to be there with me all the time.