Roommates

Three

I'd started college for two weeks.

And in that time, I had been recognized, even though I'd tried to blend in with a different last name. But no. The fans found me. I was at Myrtle Beach in South Carolina, so much different from where I normally stayed, and they still found me.

At lunch I hid out in a dark, shaded space near the back of the building, relieved to finally be away from everyone. It's not that I didn't like hanging around people, it's just that when they go crazy like some of those girls were. . .

At least my roommate was cool with everything.

Holly. She was shy and sweet. I didn't know what she did for work, but she was always on her computer. She also had a camera, so maybe it had something to do with that. In the three-ish weeks we had been in the apartment, she hadn't left once except to get the sherbet.

At least, as far as I know anyway.

The rest of the day I had to hide and duck and run from anyone I saw, and I breathed a sigh of relief once all my classes were over and I could finally go back to the apartment.

I peeked my head into Jodi Rose's room to see her still at her computer, looking stressed and exhausted. She had clear glasses on, and her auburn hair was in frayed curls all over the place. She wore the same sweatpants and baggy T-shirt she had on last night.

"Need anything?"

She looked up and gave me a tired smile. "No, thanks."

I nodded and left, hovering outside the door. She groaned and I heard her fling herself back on the bed. "Why can't a find a job?" She mumbled. "Anything. Ugh, I need to pay rent this month!" A pause. "I can't get kicked out."

So that's what she'd been doing. I thought about going back in but decided against it. I racked my brain for ways to try and help her, but I couldn't come up with something that didn't make me seem shallow.

If I offered to pay her rent, she might think I was careless about my money. If I tried to help her find a job, she might get frustrated cause I was thinking of a lot, and she didn't seem like the type say "no" very often.

Later that night, after I had finished my assignments and was sitting on the couch, watching a random TV series, I heard silent gasps coming from Holly's room. I shot up and ran to see what was wrong.

When I got there, I found her on the floor against the wall, her head in her hands, rocking back and forth. She was taking deep breaths and it sounded like she was crying.

I knelt down next to her and put my hand gently on her shoulder. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

She shook her head fiercely and continued rocking back and forth on her heels. Nothing I did to help her snap out of it worked. I don't know why, but it felt like my heart was being tugged at every time she took a shaky deep breath, every time she let out a sob.

I brought her to the living room and put her on the couch, trying to figure out what to do. Was she having a panic attack? Or an anxiety attack? What was the difference between the two?

"Just focus on breathing, okay?" I tried, rubbing her back comfortably. In and out. Inhale, exhale."

We took deep breaths together, since my mind was in a bit of a panicked state, and it was all I could think to do. Soon she was only making quiet hiccups, and after that she leaned into me and slowly, steadily, fell asleep.

While she was asleep, I read up on panic attacks and anxiety attacks, and that panic attacks were sudden and don't always have a trigger, while anxiety attacks are emotional and build up, usually having a trigger.

I didn't find much about how to stop it other than focusing on breathing. Thankfully that worked, I don't know what else I would have done if she continued panicking.

It felt peaceful to hear her quiet, steady breaths that lined up with mine. She was also really warm, which at first, I wondered if she might be sick. But her forehead felt normal, and she hadn't shown signs of sickness earlier, so I let that thought go.

But I would check up on her in the morning.