𝐌𝐑. 𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐋 𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐁𝐀𝐋...||A SOLARBALLS HORROR AU||(POSSIBLE HIATUS)

Idiot.

dunno what to put here,,
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Friday, June 26th.

"Hmph.." Earth mumbles, staring at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. His hair is messy, eyes half lidded. He trails his gaze down to the sink, staring at the pool of sanguine juice. His hands were shaky, drenched in his blood. "Hah.." Earth shuts his eyes, gripping the sink edges. It was oddly early in the morning, around six a.m.

He reopens his eyelets, keeping his gaze steady on the razor that rests inside the bloodied sink as well. His pupils trailed over to the two cups of his crimson red juice, both filled to the brim. It wasn't enough. Earth used a trembling hand to grab ahold of the razor. He flashed a smile, pelting the blade into his skin. For some reason, instead of a painful sensation, it enriled him. The ocean blue haired adult stiffles a whine, biting his lip as he slit his wrists with ease.

For a weird reason, this felt wrong. He was supposed to enjoy this. However, it made him uncomfortable. It hurt. Earth chokes, dropping the razor blade into the sink. His eyes turned into slits as he slowly set his gaze onto the bloody mess he created. They felt dizzy and sick. Gaia whimpered, moving away from the sink, dropping to the floor. "What am I doing wrong.." He sniffles, staring at his scarred arms. They burned, stung, everything. Earth growled, scrambling to his feet. He turned on the sink pipe, washing off the remaining red substance on his hands. Their eyes landed on the two cups full of their bodily fluid, squinting at it.

Gaia huffed, locking off the pipe, picking up the two cups, and maneuvering out the bathroom. He slowly made his way towards the kitchen, feeling numb in some areas of his body. Maybe the whole self-harm gig was a bad idea-- If he keeps this up, he might faint from blood loss one of these days. The adult shook their head, putting the two cups of his blood onto the countertop, thinking of what to make for breakfast.

"Pankcakes.. No, I made that Tuesday.." Earth put a finger on his chin, wincing at the stinging sensation of his wrists. "French toast.." He hummed, his eyes trailing towards the fridge. "Eh." They sigh, moving towards the refrigerator, opening the fridge door to acquire the ingredients for the toast.

Once he had all they needed, they made their way over towards the counter, his wounds emitting a burning sensation, causing Earth to wheeze. They set the items on the counter, staring at their arms. He grazes his fingers on the fresh ones, a frown forming on his features. Earth swallowed the lump in his throat, shaking off the ever recurring feeling of guilt.

They wiped their eyes clear of tears, sniffling. He ignored his thoughts, getting to work on the French Toast. Earth was attempting to cook the simple breakfast. However, the adult was still feeling quite depressed, and the over recurring guilt of self-harm was haunting him.This was causing Gaia to be incredibly unfocused, and despite his efforts, the French toast was burned on the pan after several minutes.

Earth let out a sigh as the French toast burned and became almost inedible. They were feeling absolutely horrible, and he couldn't help but feel horrid for his recent actions.

He switched off the stove, sitting down on the kitchen floor and putting his head in his hands as he thought. He was trying to resist the urge to hurt himself again, but the misery was eating at him. The burnt French toast only amplified Earth's guilty feelings toward himself, and his unhappiness worsened. He couldn't even cook a simple breakfast, what kind of cook can't make some simple French toast? This entire situation was making him feel increasingly hopeless about this.

The burning aroma of the blackened French toast filled the air, forcing Gaia to sigh. "Damn it." he muttered to himself. He wanted to impress the others with his skills. But how? Earth clearly didn't want to self-harm again, it hurt him.

At that point, they put their head in their hands, not knowing how to handle the situation he was currently in. He couldn't just go back to his usual style of cooking. It was bland, and didn't taste good in their opinion.

"Earth? Is everythin' alright?" Mars asked, stepping closer to his husband. He seemed to have just woken up, as he was rubbing his eyes groggily. Earth squeaked, immediately standing up and brushing himself off. Earth had a hard time responding to Mars. He didn't want him to know the reason he was feeling so down, but he also didn't want Mars to worry about him unnecessarily.

The adult remained quiet for a moment before finally sighing. "I-I'm fine. I just had some trouble with my cooking..." Earth said, not wanting to reveal that the issue was more than simply cooking problems. "Trouble?" Mars raised his brow, walking closer to Earth, scanning them up and down. Gaia's breath hitched, slowly back away from Ares— Not that he didn't enjoy being that close to them.

Ares took a hold of Gaia's hands, keeping his gaze into their orbs. "That's not usual of you.." Their pupils trail down to Gaia's wrists, bringing them up for the both to see. "Does it have somethin' to do with these?" Said Mars. Earth gulped, looking away. Mars sighs, letting go of Earth's hands, moving to pinch the space between his eyes. "Listen, Earth," They start, removing his hand to look at Earth. He could sense the discomfort in the atmosphere, watching as Earth refused to look at him.

Mars sighs sharply, moving to welcome his husband in an embrace. "It's alright." They plant a kiss on Earth's cheek, rubbing his stern soothingly. "I'm not mad, really." Ares admits, leaning his head onto Gaia's chest, causing the other to be flustered. "You can always tell me what's botherin' ya, Y'know?" They exhale, shutting their eyes. "I can't force ya' to stop immediately, but just.. Try."

Earth coos, returning the hug to the shorter adult. He rests his chin onto Mars' head. "I will." They finally say, the two parting. "You can go relax; I'll make sum' for us." Mars pat Earth's shoulder, maneuvering out the kitchen. "I have things to do." He states faintly.

Earth cocks his head to the side, watching to see if Mars was gone. Once he confirmed that, they darted towards the counter, picking up the two cups of his vital fluid. Earth frantically put the cup to his mouth, downing the substance quickly. He coughed, setting one cup down. They carefully chugged the second cup of lifeblood, the irony taste starting to get to him.

Earth nearly chokes, wheezing as he slams the cup on the countertop. No way was he letting that go to waste. "Ohh my god." They hold their chest, gulping.

Gaia tosses the cups in the sink, washing them with speed. He flashes his hands dry, slowly making their way out the kitchen. Earth's gaze averts to his scarred arms. Thankfully, he won't be doing this method anytime soon. Albeit, they still needed a new form of making their cooking better..

As he was passing Luna's room, his mind went somewhere strange, making Earth gasp quietly. "No.." They muttered, entering his shared room with Mars. Good thing they weren't in there either.

Gaia ran his fingers throughout his hair, furrowing his brows. They can't believe the thoughts he was having. "I ain't committing no crime.." He whispers, walking over to his window, staring outside. "Maybe.." He trails off.

Inflicting pain on someone else was more enjoyable than doing it to himself..

"Hm.." Earth ponders, thinking of who exactly. "It's summer.. The kids are out of school, so.." He starts to form a smile, the thought of hurting someone else made him happier.

"I'm actually so stupid, why'd I not think of this earlier." Earth scoffs, rolling his eyes. He has plans.

———

hold meeee

Kisss meeee :3

1350 words