-does it hurt?
-a little. for now, just dizzy.
Khao touches the water and it turning ice cold.
-I-it's.... really cold in here.
-Yeah but don't wo-
-no, it's okay, makes me feel something other than my stomach breaking apart, thanks.
Khao puts his head on the edge of the bathtub.
He laughs a little while he hold his hand.
"c-can you come in? please.."
"Okay."
Khao enters the bathtub weirdly and just sits
The water started to freeze
Then he put his one hand on First pale cheeks down to his chest, feeling his slow, almost non existent heart beats.
-isn't it to cold for you? Say if you want me to stop.
-just fine for a close death, it's good, thank you, so....
-so...why haven't you done it?"
He stares at him.
"Why are you always hesitating? You know I'm not always at our house you can kill yourself or anything so why?"
First closed his eyes, painful, unexpected full sobs coming from his mouth.
Khao strokes his hair gently.
"So tell me why?"
"I-i don't know.... I'm just scared to die alone."
First said words came out slower, quieter, still crying, holding his stomach.
"I see.."
Khao smiled then kissed First forehead.
"Open your eyes now."
"I can't, it hurts and I'm weak, Khao."
"I'm serious"
First cried silently.
"B-but khao i.."
Khao freezes the water completely.
He gasp, one hand grabbing Khao's wet t-shirt
"I'm starting it."
"Khao, it..hurts....p-please."
"You're already dying so what matters? Nothing matters."
"s-stop... please..."
Khao moves his hands over First eyes and closes his own, closing the space between their wet bodies, forehead on forehead, his heartbeat and his legs being crystallized under the water. Khao holds him close and whisper sweet nothings in his ear and after sometime he tightens his grip on his waist and over his eyes and everything goes silent.... he kisses his cheeks down to the neck, freezing the poor boy completely.
"I stopped,
I stopped your pain
long pause
"But my dear First, now you're just like me."
a breathy sigh
"I can't wait for you to melt... to make you see that.. in fact, everything matters, when you're not in pain anymore, when you're in ice.
In ice.
The ice was melting.
Even if it's going to melt and collapsing again.
Even though the end is visible.
Stay with me a little.
Stay like this a little more.
