Early Light | Bungo Stray Dogs

Chapter 21

15 years old

"ODASAKU!" I didn't even flinch at the sound of Osamu's desperate call. I couldn't.

Kosuke...Katsumi...Shinji...Sakura...Yu...

All gone in a second.

No...no...no...

I would never help Kosuke and Katsumi prank Odasaku again.

I would never be able to listen to Shinji's off-key voice as he sang along to Osamu's favorite song again.

I would never stretch open my arms and let Yu throw himself into my wheelchair, hugging me tightly and smiling his sweet smile again.

I would never play dolls with Sakura, never laugh along with her ridiculous princess fantasies again.

"Tsuyuri! Are you okay? Were you injured?" Osamu ran towards me, crouching in front of my hunched figure.

"They- they're all gone...they're all dead."

They're all gone. They're all dead.

The only words that echoed in my mind.

All dead...

Osamu wiped the tears off my face, checking me over for any injuries. I watched him with numb eyes, not really seeing him, but the faces of the five, lovable orphans as the pounded the dirty windows with their fists, mouthing one word as tears formed in their frightened eyes.

Help.

I barely noticed the rain pouring down harder and harder, deaf to the blasts of thunder as streaks of lightning pierced the dark sky.

Osamu glanced over my shoulder, then sighed. He stood up, grabbed the handles of my wheelchair, and turned me around. There, I saw Odasaku walking alone through the rain.

My brother pushed me towards the towering buildings of Port Mafia.

"Let's go home."

Dazai Osamu

18 years old

A few days later

"If it doesn't matter which side you are on, then choose the side that protects people."

Odasaku's final words echoed in my mind as I sat alone in my room.

Was leaving the Port Mafia the better choice?

I sighed, falling backwards into my bed. An entire day had passed after Odasaku's death, and I was still unable to decide if I wanted to leave the Mafia or not.

I wondered if the news had reached Tsuyuri. She was already so depressed after the orphans had been killed in a car explosion.

Another tragedy that seared her already scarred mind...I was certain that now, after two accidents, Tsuyuri would never be able to ride a car again without remembering the horrifying events.

For Odasaku...

I stood up.

The Port Mafia only brought pain to people. A fresh start would allow me and Tsuyuri to recover, to give us time to forget. Should we leave tomorrow? Three days later? A month later?

No. Right now.

I made my way to my sister's room, which was just across the hallway, then knocked on her door.

No reply.

Cautiously, I opened the door. To my surprise, it was unlocked.

"Tsuyuri?" I called. I spotted her lying down on her small bed, her eyes open and emotionless. Her head turned towards me. 

How could such a young, fragile girl be the owner of this heartbreaking expression? Neither twisted in fury or wet with tears and sadness, but a blank void empty of any emotions which was somehow even worse than seeing someone in pain.

"Tsuyuri," I started, a feeling of unexpected urgency filling my heart. Because I knew I could never leave without her, when the answer to my question was because I knew that I had caused all this pain and suffering to my sister. "Tsuyuri, we're going to leave. The Port Mafia isn't the right place for us. Let's find a happier life, away from here."

I held my breath, waiting for her to shake her head, to say no and tell Mori about my betrayal. 

But she nodded and sat up slowly. "Right now?"

"Right now."

I helped her into her wheelchair, and we headed out the door, away from all the grief and sadness and agony, away from the place we- no, I- should have never stepped inside the first place.