The Elephant Between Us || SKZ

chapter twenty-four

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BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER

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Suddenly, Jeongmin brought her hands to her head and, turning around, left the counter. The café was now filled with silence, but not just that silence where no noises or words are heard: that kind of silence where something big stands between two smaller things, that silence where the mind screams the words the walls shouldn't hear, that silence where nothing can be shared and the fear of speaking prevails.

Again, Jeongmin, you've just found what you've been running from.

"I'm a member of the gang." 

Then, Hyunjin's eyes surrendered to gravity: he knew she would make that rightfully pissed-off face of hers, and he wasn't willing to observe it forming. She'd curse out loud, close her hands into tight fists, turn red and throw a chair or two before grabbing him by the collar, kicking his balls and gripping his-

No. She just laughed, and Hyunjin doubted his ears to the point he had to open his eyes to check the facts himself.

"You?" Her hands covered her mouth as she could barely hide or hold her laughter. "In a gang? A dangerous gang?" At that point, he didn't really know whether to feel offended, confused or apologetic: he was a messed mix of all, which turned his guilty face into a completely blank one. "Like what? You guys step on balloons?"

With a disappointed chuckle leaving his lips, Hyunjin wiped the counter one last time before folding it and, in a quick movement, entered the breakroom, leaving in a minute - with his bag on a shoulder and an umbrella in hand.

"Take me seriously if you want, but be careful with them."

"Sure." Pretending to wipe away the small funny tears forming in the corner of her eyes, Jeongmin turned around the moment Hyunjin closed the café's door with a bang, her face becoming serious, embarrassed and worried in a single split. "F.ck this." She mumbled, bringing a nail to the middle of her teeth.

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Jeongmin and her brother were both sitting on the ground, one in front of the other with a short table in between. For the first time in that town, Jeongin had his round glasses hanging on the bridge of his nose, his eyes locked on some pages under the light of an orange lamp. He was so focused that he didn't even realize the fly beating on the window every now and then, unlike Jeongmin. She wanted to help, she really did, but whenever she joined her brother's side and looked at all those numbers and plans and solutions, her eyes trembled and her cheeks couldn't help but face a tsunami - after the third try, Jeongin asked her to make hot chocolate and write a list of cities she'd like to visit.

But, no matter what she did, Hyunjin wouldn't leave her mind: he appeared on all the beaches she imagined and all the theatres she thought about.

"I feel terrible." She said after an hour of silence, pursing her lips into a thin line while staring at Jeongin's pen scratching three words, both her hands hugging her hot brown mug.

"What's wrong?" Jeongin didn't look at her for a single second, which automatically caused her to look away at the fly on the window.

"Everything." She sniffed, feeling the sudden urge to cry again, that annoying and ticklish anthill on the tip of her nose. "Everything's wrong, Jeongin, absolutely everything." Her grip on the mug tightened, and she said the words she had never imagined herself saying. "Mom was right."

"What did you say?" Jeongin didn't need a second to look at his sister, pausing the word he was writing.

"I-" Jeongmin bit her lip, abruptly brushing away the tear that had just escaped her right eye. "She was right, Jeongin." She knew the gaze he was using to look at her at that moment: those pair of dark eyes analysing her every movement, expression and choice of words. She knew it, she didn't like it, and that was why she refused to face him. "When she told you not to follow me that day..." Her anxious throat forced her to stop for a moment. "...you should have listened." That triggered her tears to form and, in less than a second, flood the corners of her eyeballs, changing the judging face Jeongin used.

Taking a deep, very deep breath, he took off his glasses, approaching her shrunk body while grabbing one of her hands.

"I would do the exact same thing now, Jeongmin."

"I deserved t-that. You didn't." With one of her knees pressed against her chest and a hot brown blanket around her body, there was no mistaking the trembling of her lips and hands was not due to the cold: her fear had taken way too much space between her bones and tissues, stealing all the courage and determination she once had.

To Jeongin, not only did it make him worry about the remaining living spark on her, but it also meant more weight on his tired shoulders - he had no idea what to do.

"Go back home, Jeongin-"

"Jeongmin!" He interrupted her firmly, tightening his grip on her hand with reassurance. "I would do it all over again."

"I ruined it all for you..."

"I would repeat every single step, Jeongmin. Every. Single. Thing." His eyes pierced hers, and there was no way she was even close to imagining how much he had to hold himself back not to cry in front of her. "I would kill Minho a million times if I had to." 

Those words cost him so much. Remembering that day recreated in his nostrils the intense smell of blood, dead meat, tissue decomposition... flashes of those days would pop into his head for weeks, yet the hardest part was pretending not to be perturbed at all - pretending like a two days lifeless body laying on his living room carpet wasn't disgusting at all.

Nevertheless, he didn't lie to her.

"It was either him or you," Jeongin said each word with special determination, using it not only to calm his sister down, but to reassure himself too. "And that's not even a question mark for me."

Then, Jeongmin dropped her head to his hand on hers, crying while her brother gritted his teeth, shutting his eyes to avoid all those images coming to haunt him again.

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