(Present Day)
Was I really wrong for jumping the gun like that? Did I really overreact or you're turning it around to make it seem like I'm the problem? Every year there was something with you that involved girls and somehow I fought and stayed. You swore that you were a changed man and I actually believed that. Hell I still do. Am I stupid? Am I giving too many chances? Do I stay or leave? I've been with you for 6 years now and I really don't want to throw it away but it's to the point that I can't even live in peace. My mind is constantly worrying or just not having the energy to do anything for myself. The first year of us being together we fought over you blatantly checking out girls in front of me. The second year, I told you not to talk to this one girl because my gut was just telling me that she's no good and you still talked to her and would lie to me to make it seem like you guys weren't talking because you thought I was being "controlling" when turns out I was right because she tried to get your number but I stayed because you said you didn't know any better and stopped talking to her. The third year you had this gay chick that you talked to and I also told you not to talk to her because I know a fucking gay person when I see one and she did not act like it and turns out she wasn't. You apologized and said it won't happen again AND then it happened again. So instead of talking to girls again you just decided to check them out again. Thinking you were so slick and thought that I wasn't looking at you the whole time you were trying to check out girls but that's just the thing right. My eyes were always just on you...always. I didn't even have a chance. I cooked, cleaned, drove you everywhere and the one thing I wanted was for you to give me the same love and support but instead you gaslight me. You made me think I was stupid and that I was the problem but I have eyes and I'm not imagining any of it. I see it. You like getting all up in my face and scream like a madman. Calling me all kinds of names. Say things like you could fuck any girls if you wanted to but you don't because you're with me. Push me and scream how stupid I am for accusing you of such a thing. I'm not stupid. I know what I see. I didn't have any sort of past trauma for you to tell me that I'm imagining all these things. I'm experiencing it all from you and you only. I've completely rearranged everything in my life to fit into your schedule and I'm just so tired. I'm tired of living and I'm not happy with my life at all but I don't want to leave you despite all this because I love you. I genuinely fucking love you and that is so fuck up because I know when it comes down to it you will never drop anything for me. You'll always think about yourself and what would be more beneficial for you.
