Trapped in my web: arlecchino x reader one shots

Birth of the Tentacle Fiend: part 1

Y/n tore open the sachet and emptied the white powder into her glass. Immediately she caught a whiff of something unpleasant and she recoiled involuntarily.

"Are you sure I can't offer you anything?" asked her friend Arlecchino Knave, munching on a chocolate doughnut.

Y/n shook her head. It was typical of Arlecchino to try to tempt her with sugary treats just when she was about to start another diet. And it was typical of Y/n to firmly resist.

"You know you're not actually fat, right?" continued Arlecchino cheerily. "So what if your butt looks a little big in that dress? You normally look fine. Just don't wear stuff that's so clingy..."

"Great. Thanks for that," replied Y/n sarcastically, giving her friend a mildly annoyed look.

"Sorry," said Arlecchino, trying to look contrite while sucking icing off her thumb. "You know, I think it's really cool how you have so much willpower. I couldn't do it. So what's that stuff again?"

"It's a new meal-replacement shake. You can't get it here yet. I imported it from Japan," replied Y/n. "Someone linked it on Facebook."

"What's so great about it?"

"It makes you feel full, but it's got negative calories," said Y/n.

"Negative calories?" asked Arlecchino incredulously.

"Yeah. You're supposed to lose weight just by drinking it." Y/n felt dumber just for saying the words.

"You know that's impossible, right?" asked Arlecchino, using a tone of voice usually reserved for placating dangerous mental patients.

"Doesn't hurt to try." Y/n got up from Arlecchino's kitchen table and went over to the sink. "I think you're supposed to mix it with warm water."

Arlecchino picked up the packet and regarded it suspiciously. "Are you sure? This is all in Japanese."

The mixture smelt even worse with water added. Y/n stirred it with a spoon, her nose crinkled with revulsion. The thick, white concoction had the texture of mucus.

"I can't believe you're going to drink that," said Arlecchino, admiring her friend's dedication.

Y/n was having serious doubts herself, but she didn't want to look stupid in front of Arlecchino. "Bottoms up!"

She downed half the mixture in one gulp, then promptly wished she hadn't. It felt stringy and globby in her mouth, like partially-blended oysters, and the smell was truly rank. Once, twice, three times she retched, but she managed to keep it down.

"Are you okay?" asked Arlecchino, a concerned look on her pretty features.

"I feel violated!" choked Y/n, tears running down her face.

"So what's it taste like?" laughed Arlecchino.

"It's a bit salty. Do you want some?" asked Y/n, proffering the half-full glass.

Arlecchino demurred. "I think I'll pass. Is it working yet?"

"Well, I definitely don't feel hungry now," replied Y/n with a laugh. She tipped the rest down the sink, watching in revulsion as it slowly oozed down the plug hole. She wondered what she was going to do with the ten remaining boxes of the stuff.

"Hey, guess what?" chirped Arlecchino. "I went shopping this morning. Wanna come and see what I got?"

"Sure!" replied Y/n, following Arlecchino to her bedroom.