NOT FULL BOOK
Amelia stumbles upon a crime syndicate on campus when she catches the eye of a member apart of the group. He is powerful, dominant, and controlling.
Aiden (who goes by Blade) is in line to be the next president of the Heathens. He's gi...
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PRESENT DAY
Before my college journey officially started I declared this school year would be the year I finally break out of my shell, and stop being so dang small.
Not small as in size, small as in dimming my shine to make others comfortable. As in putting everyone else in my life first, instead of taking my own needs and wants into consideration. As in not taking the risks I desperately want in fear of failure, or worse — fear of success.
Little by little I am making progress.
It's tough when you have to brick by brick fundamentally change the person you grew up as, and hack away at everything you were taught to become.
My whole life my dad was one of those overbearing, strict parents. He had a hand in creating the sheltered, unsure girl I am today. Sometimes I still can't make a decision of my own without wondering about or yearning for his approval.
He kept saying he was protecting me from something and that's why he was strict. What that something is, I don't know.
I've only been at college for a little over 2 months now, and I know the change within myself won't come instantly. I am just happy to finally be breathing my own air, instead of smothering under the blanket of trying to make everyone else happy.
This year is all about me.
And I am damn glad to be putting myself first for once.
In the cheerleading locker room I change into the skimpy cheer uniform they make us wear every practice. The navy blue and gold pleated skirt barely reaches the mid thigh, and the top is a crop top with a low neck line. It might as well have a built-in push-up bra the way it's stitched at the under boob to make your breasts squeeze together.
Every time I pass by the football players I am 100% certain they are undressing me with their eyes and I hate it. Not that the uniform leaves much to the imagination, anyway.
The fact that I'm not all too keen on being on the cheer squad isn't exactly a well-kept secret. I only joined to have something that forces me to be more social. That plan was about as effective as a screen door on a submarine considering at least a quarter of the cheerleaders hate me. But I'm reminding myself that my persistence to do fun things is preventing me from quitting — if they want to hate me, they can.
I'm still gonna enjoy my time on the team and getting closer to Coach Dawn.
Currently she's the closest thing I have to a mother figure, my own mother passed in a tragic car accident about 6 years ago. And my step mother couldn't parent her way out of a paper bag if she tried. She wants to be the main woman in my dad's life, and she makes that very clear. I call her stepmother because my dad wants me to but they have yet to tie the knot officially.
