the beat of my heart || Jenlisa Adaption

Chapter 8: day 393

@LisaManoban: good morning miami! so excited to play in my hometown tonight! who's gonna be there?

Jennie almost drops her phone when the door of her dorm room is thrown open and Jisoo and Irene come charging in.

"Jendeuk, time to wake up. We have a concert to attend," Jisoo nearly shouts.

Jennie rolls her eyes. "I've been up for hours." She runs her hand through her hair as Jisoo plops down on her own bed, and Irene takes a seat next to Jennie. "Guys, I've been thinking about it, and I don't think I want to go anymore."

"Oh hell no. We've been saving up for this trip the entire month. You haven't stopped talking about it for nearly three months. There's no backing out now," Jisoo says, shaking her head. "If you don't want to see Lisa you can just wear an eyepatch or something, but we're going."

Irene shoots her a look, giving Jennie's hand a soft squeeze. "Is there a particular reason you changed your mind all of the sudden?"

Jennie, choosing to ignore Jisoo, sighs. "I just don't think it's a good idea to go. We haven't talked in months, and it just feels weird. Like I'm stalking her, or something." The idea of seeing Lisa again after saying goodbye to her over a year ago also makes her heart feel heavy with dread, but she doesn't say that.

"That's bullshit," Jisoo says. "People are lining up in front of her hotel in hopes she'll stop to take a picture with them. In comparison to them, you're not stalking her at all."

"Yeah, well, other people weren't almost in a relationship with her," Jennie snaps. "Other people didn't have their heart broken by her. It still hurts to hear her music on the radio, or to see her tweets, or to just know she continues to exist without me. Maybe I'm just not over her yet, and maybe I'm not looking forward to spending ninety minutes in the same room as the girl I would've done anything for."

She knows she's out of line. Jisoo and Irene have been nothing but supportive of her, and they brought her tons of ice cream after the falling out with Lisa, but still.

"I'm just saying that maybe it's a good idea to see her again because you haven't spoken in so long. What if she's just as miserable about it as you are? You two are, like, the most stubborn people in the world — neither of you is gonna talk to the other first, that much we've learned, so maybe being in the same room will help you talk it out," Jisoo shrugs. "I'm going either way. I want to see this Lisa Manoban person my best friend's been on about in person."

Jennie lets herself fall backward on her bed with a groan because Jisoo is right. The only reason she hasn't talked to Lisa is that she's too stubborn to reach out, and if she's learned anything it's that Lisa is stubborn too. She doesn't even remember the details of their fight. All she remembers is the way she threw her phone across the room afterward, and how she cried in Irene's arms for weeks.

"I think Jisoo's right," Irene says. "And even if we go, it doesn't mean you'll have to talk to her. There are going to be thousands of people in that venue. If you don't want her to notice you, she won't. It can't be that hard to blend in."

"I hate it when you guys are right," Jennie sighs. "I also hate Lisa."

Irene pats her leg. "You'll see it'll be a lot of fun. I've heard Lisa's really good live."

"She is. She could probably release an acoustic album and make the charts." Jennie lets it slip before she can stop herself. Even now, when it hurts to say Lisa's name, she still admires her more than anything. It's the only reason she hasn't deleted her fan account on Twitter yet.

Jisoo lets out a dry laugh. "You're whipped."

"Fuck you."

"What? It's true. The only reason you didn't bring your Lisa posters to college is because I said I'd draw mustaches on them while you were asleep."