Cry for Amir

Match made in heaven

—Men fall in love with what they see and women fall in love with what they hear, that's why women wear make up and men lie—

Everyone has their own definition of love, and some believe that you can only fall in love once, which I disagree with. Love is simply an emotional, mental, and physical attachment to another person. Love cannot be forced or taught. It is more complex than anything else, with the atomic structure of love yet to be understood, the geographic boundaries yet to be explored, and the cellular structure undefined. Yet, a person can claim to have experienced love at first sight. I ask how, when, and where this love was found, because if it can be shown to me, then I have conquered the world and everything in it. Love is raw, pure, uncut, heavy, lost, and unpredictable. It is unconditional, unspoken, and unconventional. Love is electric, giving you a shock each time it hits you, whether it is a good or bad shock depends on the type of love you choose. Love is not simply an attachment, as people can fall in love with anything and everything out of desperation. People fall in love with money, with themselves, making it hard for them to love others. Love is not limited to a man marrying another man, it shouldn't be difficult, it should flow freely, and it should not be based on sex or worldly things. Love should be an unexplained affection. The type of love you choose determines the type of affection you receive, as love doesn't end or disappear, but rather fades and weakens. Love should be treated like a plant, looked after, watered, nurtured, and watched as it grows stronger. Weak love leaves you stranded in a failing marriage. Pity love leads to cheating and unfaithful partners. Love influenced by worldly desires leads to neglected and unloved relationships. Lack of self-love leaves you uncared for and unnurtured in a relationship. It is difficult to love someone when you don't love yourself. Amir taught me so much about self-love, self-respect, self-control, confidence, and self-priority. That's why I thought about ending it all when I heard of his passing, reading his journals in tears and anguish. His journals made me think about what could have been. A sharp rap at the door broke the silence, each knock echoing through the room with urgency. It was a persistent sound that couldn't be ignored, demanding attention with its insistent rhythm. The knock carried a weight, a foreboding that something or someone significant was waiting just beyond the threshold. It was Maryam. She slipped into the room quietly, like a shadow, and approached me when she saw me sad and in tears. She wrapped me in a gentle embrace, offering a silent haven of comfort. The hug was a soft cocoon, a tender gesture meant to soothe my sorrow and share the burden of sadness. My voice trembled, and words stumbled out between sobs. Each word carried the rawness of emotion, and tears punctuated my speech like rain on a windowpane. I asked why life is so complicated, and I thought that having my kidney ripped out would hurt less. He was a brother to me, a better half. Just when I thought I had found my perfect match.