The Story Of You And Me

Childish Games

It was hard to remember how it all started. She remembers some things they did, some more in detail. Them at the age of 10, playing around with their mutual friend. That game "Cops and Robbers" and some other various outdoor games. Those were the days where it was a mere crush. She never really liked him the way she currently does. Ever since St. Joes closed, it seemed to have brought them closer. The daily video calls. The routine of having to stay up on her birthday until twelve. From being distant friends only through a mutual friend, to best friends of now eight years. It was a mistake to not take up the offer of being with him of the summer into freshman year. It pained her to have turned down the offer. But, who would have taken a chance on ruining such an amazing friendship they had. She couldn't take a risk losing him. The girl has been through too much to lose the person closest to her. Her mind wonders to other things. A memory of them hanging out at her house, doing some project of hers. Him sprawled out on her legs, their fingers interlaced. It wasn't her idea to interlace their hands, it was his. It was out of nowhere in all honesty. Not that she didn't like it. Though, something told her she was being a bit used. He was in a complicated relationship. One she didn't approve of . It was hard to see the one person you care about with someone else. But, it was all her doing. All her fault. She could of had said yes. But, it's not like you can go back in the time. Life isn't easy. Life has all these obstacles , ones that lead to a whole different world. Emma was that type of girl that defined herself as a stupid red head. One that just seems to never to stop going to that one person.

        But, who's to say that person was willing to do anything to be with her. Willing to risk everything their friendship they contained, even if it meant losing her. Perhaps that is why Emma never told him. Never told Jason how she truly felt about him. She was always terrified of his response towards her feelings for him. It wasn't easy to admit ever liking him either way. The only time she ever admit it was in her short journal entries she writes from time to time. Emma always wrote her journal entries when she just got into a fight with Jason or felt frustrated with him. Then at times if she is with her friends, she will say," I don't know... I kind of like Jason.." Her friends response would be like ," I thought you stopped liking him." Emma was just all so confused. What fifteen year old actually knew what he or she wanted? She was only in her teen years after all. She has a life time to make a full on decision on what she wanted. Maybe it was best to continue on. Not to be so attached to Jason. It was hard for Emma to not be attached. He was her best friend. The person she could rely on always being there when things hurt her the most.

         Emma felt so frustrated with all the recents events occurring. Her breathing became rapid as she thought about how everything started crashing. She thought of how everything became her long life dream to a nightmare.

     It all started freshman year, where Jason had been forced to attend a public high school. Public school was a whole new thing to him. It is different compared to private schools. Private schools have uniforms, while public doesn't. You are more free of choices on outfit wearing. Everything about him seemed to change. From his choice of people to hangout with to his appearance. Emma never could understand why he tried so hard to fit in. It just didn't make any sense. He was an amazing guy, what was his need to change for other people just to be liked? He hung out with the people who got stoned and smoked for the hell of it. After he started to get his hair longer than usual and own somewhat a beard is where the change went further.

            The change scared her. She liked him regardless but either way. Obviously he knew of it. She told him about it at one point. But, those feelings were oblivious to him. She lied to him at one point about her feelings. Only to have him never to try and fight for her. Had she not matter ? Was she really not worth fighting for? Emma felt like she was back at square one where they would always remain as friends and nothing more. Have that brother and sister relationship. It hurt her to think that she could never have the chance to call him hers. But, she rather have him then lose him. Without some type of relationship with him , she would be lost. Would not know who to turn to because he is the only person who knows her like the back of their hand. It's sad to think he knows her more then she knows her own self. She could never imagine life without him. As if it were some crime to be without him. He is what keeps her from falling apart. Jason is the glue who holds her from shattering to a million pieces. without him, she doesn't know who she is. Nor would she like to imagine life without him. It would not seem right to her.