30. Breakeven

Breakeven

"NO NO NO THIS IS CRAZY I'M NOT GONNA DO IT JUST SHUT UP AND LET'S LEAVE!"

He couldn't stop laughing. "No, c'mon it'll be fun! I promise. It's now or never!"

"THIS IS INSANE!"
He still kept laughing, his eyes crinkling and his face went pink. He kept trying to convince her but he couldn't stop laughing and for a moment, she saw him, she saw him laugh and she couldn't help but laugh too.

A few moments later, they both sat down on the cold sidewalk, just a smile on their faces now. "Look, I promise you it'll be okay. I shan't let anything harm you. It'll be fine."

She nodded and they looked at each other for a few moments. Their eyes, equally brown, equally deep. But his eyes had flecks of mischief, hers, utter dedication. His eyes were fun, hers, warm. His eyes were mysterious, like they held a thousand secrets. Hers, were honest, with nothing to hide.

It had been roughly four months and she knew he was the one person she was hoping to meet. Somebody who made her a teeny bit nervous, but so happy she could forego the former. She never thought her life could be all that which it is, she never imagined living life this way, in this sort of nonchalant yet spontaneous, fun, subtly happy way that made her wish it went on and on.

"Now c'mon you've got to do this!"

He was talking about paragliding. At 1:00am. And he had somehow managed to drag her all the way to this cliff where one could paraglide. And clearly there was no one else going. He even bribed the management of the place to give them the equipment although they'd shut for the day hours ago.

"It's now or never. We're going back home tomorrow."

"Okay".

And she was so glad that she agreed to it because it was the most magnificent thing she had ever experienced.

They glided through the night sky, the stars above them sparkling like the lights below them. And they were drenched in the pallid glow of the moon, above them, watching them, as the laughed and yelled and for several moments, and sang and grinned and they were so free.

She could not have ever imagined having something like this with anyone else on the entire planet.

Perhaps this is love she thought.

But every time she was this happy, which always happened in his presence, a part of her feared that once they finish their time here, in Andalusia, Spain, they will go back home and that they will never mean anything to each other.

That's silly. We spent months with each other in a foreign land, started with not knowing anything at about the other, and in such a short span, we became so close, it cannot not mean anything, she would tell herself.

But the contradictions, the fallacies, the assumptions, what good are all these? He would go back to his life, and he would be caught up with the people of the life he lived and will life, when all this is over. What could I mean to him? How have I affected or influenced his life in any way, small or huge? I haven't. This is a one way thing, the other part of her believed.

He was a loner but he liked it that way. He didn't have too many friends but the ones he had were for life. And he knew he didn't need any more. He lived in the present, not dwelling on the past, not worrying about the future, but in the current moment. He did exactly as he pleased, worked extremely hard, did brilliant work and well enough for himself, and he was here, in Spain, just as she was, to study Spanish culture and he took up a class there as a break from his life. He took brakes often but when he got back, he wouldn't stop. He had his vices. He was detached, he couldn't have a normal relationship with anyone ever since his best friend Alysia died of Acute Myeloid Leukaemia. He stayed alone, played the Piano when he was either ecstatic or morose. And he more or less loved his life, despite all the hardships he'd faced as a child and a teen.