Duke Charming | Craig

Twenty

It's strange waking up at the break of dawn and instantly knowing you're not alone in bed, especially if you're used to sleeping alone like me. The added heat that brewed underneath the covers, the serene breathing of the person at your back, and the safety that came with their presence were new experiences that I never thought I'd call my own someday.

At first, I thought it was a dream. I couldn't possibly have spent the night with a man, my mate no less, and expect it to be real. But no matter how I tried convincing myself it never happened, several elements proved me wrong. One of them being Craig's heat radiating against my back as he cuddled me impossibly close. The second being his scent that clung to everything, the bed, the sheets, the pillows, me. And the third being the pleasing ache between my legs from our tousle in the sheets last night.

The memory of everything we did – what he did with me – was enough to stir up my pheromones, and I felt myself getting ready for more. Just another quick round before we had to get up and seize the day.

But first...

I slowly lifted Craig's arm to roll from one side to the other to so our faces were mere inches apart. He looked happy and content even asleep if that was remotely possible. The laugh lines around his eyes were slightly crinkled as though someone told a joke in his dreams, his mouth corners upturned in the goofiest, sleepy grin, while his hair stood in all directions.

My chest ached for the sheer love I felt for this man that moment, and I couldn't believe one person could be so perfect. He could have a wart on the tip of his nose and five missing teeth, and I know I would've loved him still. How could anyone deserve someone so...so pure as him?

As soon as that thought crossed my mind, my heart dropped to my stomach along with the giddiness I felt a second ago.

I told Craig I loved him, and he said it back. Although in the heat of the moment, I didn't regret it one bit, however...my linger fear kept whispering that I've said it too soon. I've yet to figure out how to obtain a drop of his blood for the potion. Until then, I'd have to live with myself knowing I've been lying to Craig this whole time – to all the Balfours, actually.

Guilt weighed me down by reminding me how I've been lying to my own mate. Insecurity whispered how flawed I was with my inability to shift. And fear stabbed its claws into my heart, telling me, if they found out, they'd never accept me into their pack and...and Craig will reject me. Without his mark, he could still do that.

The mark had been my first resort before taking the potion, just in case Blake was right about its wicked properties. But now I wondered if the mark would even work. Maybe if I had been human all along, it'd turn me into a werewolf who could shift normally. But I'm not human. And there was no telling if the mark would trigger the shift or leave me as I am.

I couldn't warrant my happiness on chance. I needed the potion.

Lifting Craig's arm again, I delicately rolled out of bed and tiptoed to the closet. Luckily, stealth was my strong suit, and I managed to get dressed and ready for the day without waking him up.

Pausing at the door, I glanced at Craig's sleeping form once more. With his back facing me, my eyes followed the scratch marks I left on his skin, stretching all the wat from his lower back to his shoulder blades.

My marks on him.

With a heavy conscious, I tore my eyes off his figure and closed the door.

***

I needed space.

But don't get me wrong, I didn't need space from Craig considering how hard it was to leave him in that room this morning. Every instinct screamed at me to run back to that bed and worm myself into his embrace. That's where I belonged. That's the only place that was safe.