TUW2: Tamed Heart

ONE

[Angel]

"Mi Amore, where did it all go wrong? Our love.. Our dreams.. Our safe place.. where did it all go?" Blaze whispered to my ears. His hold becaming firm and tight, feeling each drop of tears fall from his eyes to my left shoulder.

I didn't want this, Blaze. I never wanted us to have anything taken away from us, pero kinailangan dahil alam nating dalawa na mali ang ginagawa natin.

"Let go, Blaze.. Hayaan mo na akong kumawala sa kung ano mang meron tayo," I tried to push him away kaso mas humigpit pa ang kanyang yakap sa akin.

Please don't let me go, Blaze.. Please contradict all my actions and words. Keep me more closer to you.. 'Til I can no longer push you away.. You're all I have now. Please continue to fight no matter what.

"No!" he growled. "I fucked up, yes, pero maniwala ka sa akin.. Ikaw lamang ang nasa puso ko." Ako lang? Or dalawa kami?

"Pero hindi 'yan ang totoo, Blaze," I softly answered back to him. I felt his body jerked, making me smile bitterly. " Kung totoo ngang ako lamang ang mahal mo, you wouldn't do anything to hurt me.. Your mind wouldn't wander off to someone else.."

Napatigil ako sa pananalita saglit dahil sa mga alaalang pumapasok sa aking isipan. Mga oras kung saan magkasama kami ngunit isang tunog lamang ng telepono niya'y agad itong nasasagot..

"...Hindi mo ako ipagpapalit sa isang tunog ng telepono.. Isang tunog kung saan alam mong siya iyon.." Fuck.. ayaw kong umiyak pero ang sakit sa tuwing naalala ko. "Alam mo ba kung anong pakiramdam ko nun, Blaze? Na sa tuwing tatawag siya sa iyo, e alam at ramdam ko kung saan ako lulugar sa buhay mo."

"Amore.. Hindi— She's not who you think she is to me.."

"But she is, Blaze." There it go.. I felt my tears  falling down. Dahilan para onti-onting nababasa ang damit ni Blaze. "Kahit sabihin mong wala kang nararamdaman para sa kanya— the mere fact, she can call you once and you'll answer that call within the first ring.. You can't tell me your feelings for her are invisible, because it's not.." I sobbed. 

Nung araw na sinugod ang kapatid ko sa ospital at nalaman ni Mom ang katotoohanan, si Blaze lang ang gusto kong takbuhan ng araw na iyon. Kasi, isipin niyo, kahit na ipagtabuyan ako ng pamilya ko I knew he would be there for me. Kaso mali pala ako. Kung saan kailangan ko ng taong maiiyakan, saka ko sila nakitang mag kayakap. 

Ang sakit sa puso na makita ang ganung eksena. Ang buong akala ko sa pelikula lang 'yun nangyayari, but I was wrong because it happens in real life too. Blaze looked so comfortable being wrapped around her arms.. Comforting one another. Habang ako? Wala. No one was there for me, but myself. 

Dapat nga sanay na ako sa ganun e. All of those times I've committed a sinful act toward another person, I've never had anyone to comfort me. To remind me na hindi ko ginusto ang mga nangyari. Until Blaze came into my life, and it felt like a switch was turned on. I started yearning for his touch, words, and everything about him- us. 

"No. No. No," kumalas sa yakap si Blaze sa akin. Dahilan para maramdaman ko ang yakap ng malamig na hangin. He place both of his hand on my cheeks, and we both had our eyes to one another. "That's not true, Amore. That' not true," his voice became hoarsed. "You're the only one I want. You're the only one I see myself with in the future. To see myself having a family of my own. Kaya, please Amore, don't say those hurtful words that'll cut you deep because none of it is true. Please, believe me.. I only love you and only you."