𝐕𝐢𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐁𝐢𝐭𝐞

𝘗𝘳𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘶𝘦

𝙊𝙣𝙚 𝙢𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙝 𝘼𝙜𝙤

I haven't Slept in Two weeks, not since burying my best friend and sister in a casket in the dirt six feet under. And everyone- including my father and his club brothers- blame me for her death.

Not that I fault them.
I blame myself too.

Rilee was my partner in crime. She was the voice of reason between the two of us. She was always trying to pull me back from the adventurous edge I tried to dive headfirst towards. She was the shy, reserved one who logically thought things through. She was the complete opposite of me. I loved that about her.

Now, I have no one to pull me back from the edge, no one to remind me to step back from the crumbling cliff as I peer over the dark, hollow void threatening to claim me. The pain is unlike anything I've ever experienced. Its searing grief burns at me every second of the day. Memories of that day plague me to the point of throwing up.

I can't take it anymore.

As I held her in my arms, covered in blood that stained the concrete beneath us, her once vibrant mossy green eyes which held such warmth and light, were cold, grey and lifeless staring straight back at me.

"Rilee!" I screamed. "Wake up, please you have to wake up." I begged, sobs ripping from my throat and echoing off the warehouse walls.

She never woke up.

I even resorted to praying to every god or higher force willing to listen. To take me so I can stop replaying it every time I close my eyes. I pleaded for something to happen. A semi crashing into me, a stray shoot out, or some odd unexpected medical reason.

I deserved to suffer because being alive was a reminder to everyone around me that she was gone. There's nothing left for me to do but fine a way to end it.

I'm hollow, my heart aches nonstop, and the grief is too much to bare. My family hates me, they can't even stand to look at me let alone be around me.

Booming voices can be heard from outside the door. Music faintly humming through the background.

Looking at the pale blue powdery tablet, I roll it between my fingers looking at the imprinted M in the center on the left, while 30 was printed on the right before dropping it back into the prescription bottle. It makes a little 'ting' sound as it hits the others. Soon I promise. A ghost of a smile paints my lips as tears stream slowly down my cheeks and onto the white tile below me.

My shaking hands grab the neck of the bottle and somehow, I find myself slamming back the dark ember liquid that burns my gut all the way down as I swallow my freedom. The empty orange bottle rolling gently by my feet.

Leaning my head back against the wall I closed my eyes waiting for the effects to take place. My mind was slowly becoming hazy. My thoughts were slowing into the dark void. My mind sank- Slowly, deeper and deeper. Finally. Something more than asleep. Vaguely my mind conjured up the word comatose.

I could stay here forever. My thoughts slowly become dormant. There was nothing but silence as I slipped in and out of consciousness. Occasionally, a dark sound would filter its way through disrupting my peaceful freedom. it made me aware how vast the dark space around me was. Slight, and bigger as chills settled over me. as it was an endless black void.

The faraway sound clawed its way to me again. I realized it was my father, screaming at me.

"Damnit Sammie, come on baby breathe. Breathe!"

"Sammie, Wake up damnit!"

I felt what could have been the weight of a thousand pounds come crashing down on my sternum, the force so strong and swift it had me gasping and bolting upright in a fluid motion.

"What is your problem?" I screamed. my voice incoherent.

"Oh god, Sammie, baby, you weren't breathing. You were gone." He choked out, tears streaming down his once stone-cold face.

"Come on baby, let's get you up." He stressed. Tugging at my arms, yanking me off the tile floor.

I jerked my arms away, hitting the wall, swaying as my movements felt sluggish, uncontrolled and weighted "I was just resting for a moment. "

I stumbled over to the counter slumping over as my father stood behind me apprehensive in case I collapsed. My balance fucked as I kept swaying to the sides uneasily like a rabid dog. I looked in the mirror, my face was icy grey, and my lips were blue, they were blue. My eyes managed to catch the sight of my father's crumbling face before I started to loose consciousness again.