The Taste Of Revenge (War of Sins Book 1)

Noelle

My pulse drums in my ears as I startle from yet another nightmare. It's been weeks since the dark room incident yet I still haven't managed to move on. The fear of being violated in that manner is hard to overcome, and to an extent, it still lives within me. Then there's Rafaelo's cruel laughter—that ominous sound that follows me everywhere.

He set out to destroy me, and I fear he's well on the path to do so. Especially as he seems to have honed in on my weaknesses. In the beginning, I didn't want to believe he would be capable of something this terrible. Yet the more I get to know him the more I realize that the love that fuels his thirst for revenge is all encompassing.

The love for Lucero. I'm ashamed to admit that pains me more than anything.

I've been struggling with my feelings for him from the start. They are too out of control, fear and longing mixing together in a lethal combination. Add jealousy in the mix and I feel lost—truly, truly lost.

As I get out of my bed, I go about my morning ablutions, deciding to take breakfast in my room—yet again.

My initial plan of taunting Rafaelo clearly backfired—immensely. If anything, I'm always the one who ends up on the losing side, no matter how much I try to keep my chin up and ignore his jibes. After the dark room, our interactions have only gotten worse, his words growing crueler with each passing day.

Before, I may have tried to defend myself and tell him that I'm not who he thinks I am, but he's too set in his ways. In his mind, I've already been tried and convicted. If my own family doesn't believe me...why would he, a stranger?

The more he insults me, the more I should learn to hate him, and the more he mentions Lucero, the more I should just bury my emotions.

But it doesn't work like that. Not when my heart skips a beat every time he's in the vicinity. Not when every waking moment my thoughts are filled with him. And certainly not when his voice is the only thing that can give my day some sense of normalcy.

Am I...getting used to being bullied? Is that it?

I've tackled this particular issue with my therapist and she'd suggested it might be a manifestation of my guilt and the fact that he does, in fact, embody the characteristics of my ideal man. It's just that those particular traits of his that I admire are never aimed at me.

And as we've gone on to unravel my subconscious, it has become clear that I am vulnerable when it comes to Rafaelo, and as such it is best if I avoid him.

Easier said than done when Cisco had taken that one request to heart, ensuring Raf accompanied me everywhere when I went out. I haven't had a moment of quiet. Every single interaction we have is filled with so much tension that often leaves me emotionally exhausted.

'Are you sure you're fine, Noelle? It's not like you to miss breakfast,' Yuyu mentions from the doorway, but I simply burrow deeper in my blankets.

'I think it's the change of seasons,' I fake a cough. 'It must be messing with my body.'

'I see,' she nods, worried. 'I'll have Greta bring you the food here then.'

'Thank you,' I give her a small smile.

And as she leaves, I finally breathe out in relief.

It's the third day in a row that I've asked to eat in my room. I can't blame Yuyu for being suspicious, but neither do I want to see Rafaelo. I've done my best to keep out of his way, but it's definitely not easy when we live in the same house and we bump into each other at every turn.

It's only when he's away with business that I get some breathing room—but that never lasts. In fact, I've even stopped playing the piano when he is around the house. Every time I'd start playing it, he'd show up, and without even speaking, he would plop himself in front of the piano, watching me intently as I'd play.