A Thousand Ways To Run

Chapter 13

Agent Porter left me in that room for over fifteen minutes. I stared at a wall the whole time, suffering through the noises of the scared group of people I hadn’t even glanced at. I had to sit there for fifteen minutes and feel the guilt of knowing I’d put all of their lives in danger.

I put Warren’s life in danger.

It was a room almost exactly like my own, missing only the adjacent bathroom and a mattress to go on top of the box spring bed. I wandered around it, pushing my ear into the cracks of the doors to hear nothing but nonsense. I paced, almost never staying still. When he finally returned, I was huddled on top of the desk chair with my legs pulled up to my chest.

The sudden wrenching of the door made me flinch, but I didn’t rise from where I sat. I was terrified of Porter. I really wished I could bring back that I-don’t-give-a-fuck attitude.

The noise of scattered conversation seemed to grow quiet as the silence took over the room. I couldn’t look at him. He hadn’t said a word to me and already I knew this was the worst interrogation I’d ever go through. My heart was like the pitter patter of raindrops on a tin roof: uneven and nervous. I wondered if he could feel it and know that I felt horrible and tormented. But no one ever expects a robot to come to life.

“Ahh...” Porter sighed pleasantly, mockingly laying a picture on the desk. Warren and I outside my door, so close together. “Young love: so fragile, so stupid.”

Even more security camera pictures slapped the wood, each one making me feel like I was being slapped.

“What were you thinking?”

“I wasn’t,” I spoke, meek and mild.

“Obviously!” Porter scoffed, pacing to the door and back again. “Do you even have the slightest idea how much of a risk it is to have you here? Do you know how many hoops I’ve had to jump through – personally – just to keep you here?”

I stayed quiet, taking the beating each hit at a time. I was already in such an emotional state that it was hard to not let any more tears slip at his words. The last thing I wanted was to show any weakness. With how angry Porter was already, he’d tear me to shreds if I showed how badly words hurt me.

That sticks and stones rhyme is complete bullshit.

“Penny insisted you'd understand. She said, ‘Just give her time to acclimate herself!’” Porter sneered her words, his tone rising in pitch. “I’m done waiting, and you're done trying to hide whatever this is.” Porter pointed out the first picture of Warren and I, one of him covering my eyes. In the picture you could see what I was too nervous to feel: his arms stretched tight around me, like a hug from behind. The light was just right so you could see the smile on both of our faces. I almost asked Porter what he thought it was, because I wanted to know.

“So we're going to have a discussion. No lies. Got it?” he continued, still talking down to me like he always did. I narrowed my eyes and pretended to think about it.

“Fine.”

“How long have you been sneaking out?” Porter fired.

I almost snorted. My body relaxed; I felt as if the worst was over. I sat up in the chair normally with my feet planted on the ground. “Since the first day I got here.”

“And why did you do that?”

“Because I don't want to be here. Well, didn't,” I admitted, adding the last bit on the end almost timidly.

I fidgeted with my shirt and its frayed sewing. Being in that room was making me anxious. Whatever had happened that night wasn't good, and I was scared they'd do something to keep Warren and I from seeing each other at all. I couldn't take that. The only reason why this hellhole had been tolerable was because of him. It was always him.