In The Crowd - B.E.

Chapter Seven - Billie

"Do you think she'll text me?" I asked Finneas. We're sitting in my room, and we were talking about our next show and a new album, but I can't get what I said out of my mind.

"Oh, my God, Billie. I don't know. You said she could text you anytime. Maybe she will. Maybe she won't. You guys don't really have much to talk about, even if she did, so who knows." He said to me.

"Yeah, you're so helpful," I told him. "I'm going on a walk."

"This late?" He questioned.

"I'll bring Shark with me," I said and left. I did bring him with me because it would make everybody, including myself, feel better. I mean, it's eleven at night. I know I probably shouldn't be out this late, but I need some fresh air right now.

As I'm walking, I'm looking at the city and all the bright lights and all the cars driving. I don't understand how Y/n misses this. Who would miss all of this? I mean, I like it here, but sometimes I really do hate it. I can't stand the number of people and all the bright lights and everything. It all really bothers me sometimes. But maybe that's just me. I stop and just look at everything. After a few minutes, I'm pulled out of my trance by my phone going off. I reached into my pocket and pulled it out. I got a text on Instagram. It was from Y/n. A small smile crept across my face.

Y/n

Y/n: Thanks again for finding and returning my necklace. It means a lot, and I appreciate it.

Me: No problem

Me: I didn't even know it was yours. I just thought I should ask before I just threw it out

Y/n: That would've been bad.

Me: Yeah, and with how important it is, I'm glad I texted you about it. Oh, have you left yet? Did you make it home, okay?

Why does that matter to me? I sighed to myself and put my phone in my pocket. I don't care if she responds or not. That's not important to me. Well, I am just trying to make sure everything is okay. There's nothing wrong with it. Whatever. I turn, and I make my way back to my house and shower. When I got out, I looked at my phone again and saw that Y/n texted me back.

Y/n: Yeah, we left a few hours ago. The flight wasn't very long and I'm home now.

Me: That's good. I'm glad everything went well for you.

Y/n: Me too

Me: Well, it's late, and you're probably exhausted after your flight and everything. I'll leave you be. Goodnight

Was that too much?

Y/n: Goodnight, sleep well.

That made me smile. What has gotten into me? Smiling at a random girl's text. What? That isn't me. I need to stop this. I don't need to be worrying about anybody but myself and what I'm doing next with my career. I don't need anything getting in the way of that. Especially not a girl that was at one of my shows. I just think it's funny that I just so happen to run into her the day after and then somehow something of hers ended up in my bag and I had to see her again to give it back to her. God, what the fuck is happening? I just need to forget about it all.

It's been a week since I last talked to Y/n, and I've heard nothing from her since she thanked me again. I mean, it's not like I'm upset, or anything just concerned, I guess. I mean, I did tell her that she could text me anytime. Which it's still embarrassing that I said that, but I can't take it back now. But still I said it and I haven't heard from her. And I know she doesn't have to text me but like... I don't know. I don't know where I was going with that.

"Billie?" I hear Claudia say. She stayed the night here last night. "You gonna get up anytime soon?" I can tell she's just standing outside my door.

"I'm awake," I tell her and then the door opens.

"You're still lying in bed," she said.

"That doesn't mean I'm not awake," she rolls her eyes and walks over to my bed and sits down.

"Whatcha thinking about?" She asked. I shrugged. "Trying to figure out why Y/n hasn't texted you?"

"Why would I be thinking about that?"

"Because that's all you were talking about last night," she reminds me. I rolled my eyes.

"Did I? I don't remember doing that," I said.

"Don't be like that. It's okay to admit that you like someone and that it's her." She told me.

"I do not like her. Again, I don't even know her. I only seen her at the show and then I just so happen to run into her the next day. And then somehow Finneas knew that something of hers ended up in my bag and that I needed to return it. But I didn't hear that from him. I heard it from you. Why didn't he say anything when he noticed? I don't know. But I'd say that it's pretty weird that he didn't." I told her. She sighed.

"You think too much, Billie." She said. "Maybe she doesn't think you were serious. Text her. Ask her how sees been and maybe see if she thought you were serious or not. I know you don't really want to bother anybody, but it might be a good thing."

"Have you guys ever stopped to think that maybe, just maybe I don't want to get into a relationship and maybe that's that why I keep ignoring you guys?" I asked her.

"And if that were really true you wouldn't be talking about this girl all the time now, would you?" She said and I sighed. Maybe she's right. But do I really want to do all that? I don't know.

After Claudia had left, I did some cleaning and I got into the shower. I kept thinking about what Claudia had said earlier. I really don't know what to do. Would it be a good idea? I could list a whole bunch of reasons as to why it wouldn't be a good idea. But like Claudia said, I think too much and when I think I always think about the bad things before I think about the good. I always focus on the bad rather than the good and that's my biggest issue. But also, what's life without a little risk? Maybe I need to sleep on it.

After my shower, I got into more comfortable clothes and laid in bed. I checked my phone for the time. Two o'clock. I can take a small nap. That won't hurt anything. I get comfortable and I eventually fell asleep.