Paradox Interluder (Usurper #2)

3.

Jessamine despised the steady thrum of the locomotive. It was nothing like the calming waves of the sea, with wind blowing in her hair, or the great aroma of salt filling her senses. Sailing for her was a second love, akin to playing piano although these days it almost felt difficult to play. Yet, she'd have to play in public for this grand show for Shailud. She prayed when she had to, her hands wouldn't tremble like they usually did before practicing. Her voice always remained steady as it was much easier to mask, the instrument of her deception, hands...tools of war, not so much.

She debated opening her book on Uhkhtarian history, the most updated she could find, but knew it would only make her grow more ill at the constant movement. Wine. Wine might help. It always seemed to help the temporary upsets in her life, but she knew it wasn't a permanent fix. Nothing could fill the void in her heart, even if she tried to fill it with fantasies. She had to come, no, she forced herself to come to the conclusion that she'd never see Kaid again. Even knowing he could be here at this grand event, it was too great a risk to speak, even see each other.

If she saw those soft brown eyes again, she'd probably fall to her knees like a fallen angel. Or a rising devil.

Her thoughts were interrupted with the sound of her cabin door opening with a gust of wind before shutting, seeing Vrah step into her midst. Vrah was a friend, nothing more. At least, in her heart. Jessamine knew that the day she was born, she was to marry at the whims and wishes of her father, to repair whatever mess he created. Well, this time she created her own mess. And she had to become something she hated because it meant having to keep this alliance together.

It was held together by fragmented stitches. Ones she knew that might not last long.

Vrah, with wavy brown hair and light skin looked nothing like his half-brother, except maybe the broad nose and eyes. With both his stature and looks, just like Jessamine, he could probably capture the eye of any beloved he wished. He could have a harem of a hundred women all vying for his attention, and nobody would really care. Yet, Jessamine had loved an Uhkhtarian and it felt like the entire world shamed her for it like a whore. The word didn't hurt her stone heart. She'd wear that word like a brand, a tattoo, if it would always be attached with Kaid.

Vrah was a safe choice. He knew that. And there was nothing more demeaning than knowing he was second-choice. But he too, was playing a role. He had hoped by now that maybe Jessamine would fall in love with him, it had been two years after all. But it was clear with the hesitant kisses and absence of intimacy that wasn't going to happen. It never would unless she changed. Changing a woman who had seen all the horrors of the world was near impossible. Vrah was as always, a hopeful, optimistic soul.

"Should be arriving within a couple hours. Shailud will not be there to greet us initially but servants will help us to our rooms and for dinner. The letter mentioned something about a...ritual, I guess," Vrah shrugged, clearly not minding the tyrant would be absent on their first night there. If it hadn't been explained, Jessamine would have been concerned.

"It's a Mahrajan. And if my studies are correct, of a niema, I believe. It involves going to the nearest temple and praying for all of blessings given. It's a meditation of gratitude," Jessamine explained, hoping that clarified it in better terms, "and as far as I am aware, despite the outdated maps and geography knowledge, the nearest temple to Kanaf is a ten hour ride away."

"You've done your research," Vrah laughed softly, moving to the corner of liquor to pour them both some liquid courage. Jessamine by now had fallen to the habit, one she presumably learned from Kaid, that if she didn't know something she would go look for it within literature. It also could be that she didn't trust such information from the lips of others. If she didn't read or see it with her own eyes, hear it with her own ears, then she couldn't believe it. She was as cautious as ever, given Payne had nearly ruined everything under her guise. Vrah couldn't fault her for that, except when it came to their relationship.