Promises | Chanlix

one.

FELIX POV

I sigh as I pulled on my coat, ready to clock out of the store. It was dark outside, the roads silent, people drifting off to dreamland.

Never would I think I'd be here in 7 years time.

I had to let go of the dream of becoming and idol and had to face my mother after I had ran away. How idiotic. I remember that day, tears streamed down my cheeks and I screamed into my mother's shoulder, repeatedly apologising for being such a failure and disappointment of a son.

She tried to convince me that I had done the best I could but the gut-wrenching feeling of never being enough to debut still sits there. It itches the back of my mind that I truly didn't have what it takes to do what I love.

I had to move on and live my life while watching my ex-members thrive and rise. I had hope to be next to them but instead I was sleeping on the couch, working endless hours as I gave up everything, for nothing in return.

Could I ever recover? Probably not. I may be overdramatic but life turned the complete opposite way than what I had thought. As the apology left Park Jinyoung's mouth, I felt like I had been punched in the stomach, slapped on the face, stabbed in the back.

I struggled to face my fellow members that day, I couldn't bare to look at the disappointment written on their faces. I'm sorry for letting you down. I'm sorry I couldn't be good enough to pass. I'm sorry for even trying.

Maybe then I would have never had to face such event.

I pulled my headphones over my ears and pressed play, Twice's song 'Love Rewind' starting. I walked past the small food tents and crossed the roads.

A familiar laugh could be overheard across my music. I halted. I quickly took my headphones off and tried to search for the voice.

I locked eyes with the person.

My heartrate started to increase, my knees clanked together like silver spoons. My palms began to sweat and my eyes began to water.

"Felix? Is that you?"

No..it can't be.. run away.. he shouldn't be talking to you.

"C-chan?" my voice wavered.

"Felix! It's you!"

"I-i need to go.."

"Felix?"

My feet stumbled away, nearly tripping as I began to run.

Go.Go.Go.

What felt like forever, I approached my front door. I quickly opened it up and fell inside, trying to make it to my room.

I slammed the door shut, trying to trap myself inside the space. My breathing still quickening, the panic rising.

Meds.Meds.Meds.

I scrambled for the pescription and swallowed 3 pills.

My heartrate slowly began to neutralise as I took deep breathes.

I felt myself drifting off, my eyes closing as I had tired myself out.