your still mine ; conan gray

★ 00?

"he's what?" 

"i'm so sorry. i thought you knew"

{declands pov}

after all this time, i'm going back to america. maybe not the state i'd like to be in but there's not point in going back to texas anyways, i bet my life's worth he dosent live there anymore.

* "we will be landing in 30 minutes, please return to your seats as soon as possible"*

a fresh start will be good. maybe i won't be as much as an outcast. maybe i'll change my name. or my hair.. maybe i'll find something.

{conans pov}

"i- you- forget it." i walk off up the stairs and drag the final boxes to the moving van, along with the letters that have been hidden from me. 

as i watch the moving van sail into the distance, i take a look at the last place i saw dec. with that stupid fucking mullet he had. god i fucking miss him. i don't cry anymore, i rot in my own thoughts.

...

i arrive at my destination manhattan. i see the multitude of boxes in the first room, the emptiness of the apartment. it's oddly comforting. maybe i'll keep it this way. just for a while.

i walk the streets of my new home, familiarising myself with every building i come buy, coffee shop? that looks nice.. a coffee would be nice right now. i push open the class door, instantly the vibes are very nice, there's very quite jazz music playing in the background, the volume tuned in the fine markings. the door jingles  as i open it, the white lace curtains seem to be a pattern already, i walk towards the counter. 

"how may i help you?" a man with mid length, very fluffy and unkept black hair says to be. in a very tired tone.

"a Grande Iced Brown Sugar Oatmilk Shaken Espresso. to go please."

the man behind the counter sighs. "it will be with you in a moment. that's ten dollars and thirty cents."

..

as i leave the building. someone in the window picks my interest, a bright pink mullet. definitely a character.. i walk back to my apartment, taking in all the place has to offer, including my drink.

{declands pov}

i scribbled down into a white notepad "coffee, overrated as fuck." i closed it quickly and stood up again, leaving pretty fast. i walk the streets, i don't have an apartment, i don't know if i'll stay yet. Walker Hotel Greenwich village is the place. as i approached the person walking in front of me caught my eye, i can't see his face but. he's tall, pale, dark curly hair? hey. he's just my type. at that moment, i felt that way i did when i met conan, the overwhelming feeling of belonging. 

there's a tap on my shoulder, a woman with long dark hair, and a lot of eyeliner "you know if you want him go talk to him or just don't stare."

bold move? "oh uh- yeah i might. thank you?" am i blushing? i think i'm blushing?

..

i put pen to paper. "it's been 5 weeks, i finally got my paws on a place. sonder court square is my poison. i moved in fully this morning. i also got a job at the coffee place, do i like the drinks? no, but moneys moneys and the rent here is fucking insane. maybe i'll get a sugar daddy. 12-11-20"

i throw the note book against the wall. as much as i love it here, i can't stand being alone much longer. honestly? i've been touch starved since 12. now more than ever.

..

sometimes i watch the street from the balcony, it's nice, they move so fast but everything else is so slow. you start to get to know people, the same woman who walks her dogs around the block, the single dad with his two daughters. "maybe i should take a walk?" i say standing up on my way to the door. 

..

*fuck it's cold* i say walking into the street pulling my gloves over my  frail hands walking to no place in particular. after a while, i sit down on a bench there's only so much walking a man like me can do, but across the street, someone catches my eye, the same guy i saw near the hotel. but i can see his face this time. "fuck.." he looks familiar, i think back to what the woman said to me « if you want him god talk to him, just don't stare » fuck it. i'll go talk to him

i cross the street, i right behind him, he drops his wallet? perfect, i pick it up, i'm already shaking pretty hard.. it's just the cold. i catch up to him slowly.. "uhm. i- excuse me?" i tap his shoulder. "you dropped- this.." 

"no fucking way?"