Let tomorrow come

Chapter 18.

Yesterday was a noisy, fun evening. I ate too much cake and don't feel very good. It really was very tasty, so it's not my fault, it's Marco's. He shouldn't cook so amazingly. The twins made so much noise yesterday that I had a bit of a headache towards the end. They even fired a firecracker, which made grandma very upset. They gave me a half-meter talking doll. Although it only speaks a few phrases, I like it. Now this is another friend of mine. Ann and I will sew new clothes for her; what she's wearing now is boring. I'll draw the patterns and Ann will do the sewing. It's more honest. John gave me some expensive writing pen, although I don't know much about them. Although he doesn't love me, attention is always good, I also always give him something on his birthdays. What I liked best was Peter's gift. Handmade wooden ship model. It looked so fragile, I was scared to even breathe on it.

"You may not understand what I say now. But adventurers, in pursuit of a dream, sail on the sea of life like this ship. And the question is, will the storm overwhelm a ship and sink it? Or when the sun comes out, a ship will be a little shabby, but its sails will proudly rise above the water surface in the endless ocean? Think about it," he said and kissed me on the cheek.

He's always so sincere. He's already sixteen, so we won't see each other often anymore. This is the last year before exams. And then he and his parents will decide whether he will continue his studies to prepare for university or go to college after graduation. The only thing I know is that he wants to connect his life with literature.

***

Outside the window the trees are turning yellow. I'm learning again. Our governess Alice planned my education for this year, and I began to learn French, and next year I will also add German. Uff, I'm afraid my head can't handle such a volume of knowledge, but I'll try. In any case, I have classes at an art school, and there I rest my soul. The day before yesterday my teacher and I learned to draw a still life with geometric objects, and tomorrow we will finish it. My teacher is a nice woman of about forty. She always treats me kindly and explains clearly, and thanks to her I understand that painting is part of me.

***

A week ago an unpleasant incident occurred. John had a few days off because he was constantly studying with his teachers. He slept and ate a lot. Grandma thought he had lost weight. In fact, he just grew up. Apparently, he missed those times when he was eleven or twelve, and he could play pranks all day long.

John is still as angry at heart. It's just that studying distracted him from the opportunity to do dirty tricks. But during these few days of freedom, he decided to play out in earnest. First, he caught a pigeon somewhere and fed it to a street cat. All this happened before my eyes. Apparently he specifically invited me to go out with him for company in order to anger me. He likes to scare and offend me. This frankly annoys me. I love pigeons because they are not afraid of people. I love cats because they are furry and cute. I would like to have a kitten, but my grandmother doesn't allow it. And besides, some of our employees are allergic to wool. But grandma still respects them. I was upset by the heroic death of the pigeon and the impudent cat who did not give up the prey. Of course, he also needs to eat, but I felt some disappointment. Most of all I was offended by John, I was so outraged that I swung at him. But he turned out to be quicker, so he twisted my arm. And when I screamed, he dragged me to a large puddle and put me in it, although I resisted. I was wet, dirty and angry. John dragged me home and told my grandmother that I myself had jumped into a puddle and played in it. I don't know why Grandma didn't question this theory, but she again decided that I was at fault and scolded me. And told me that I didn't deserve dinner for my bad behavior. Ann brought me milk and bread in the evening. She always takes pity on me, dear Ann. I shared that accident with her, and she was also angry.

"Let's take revenge on this scoundrel!" she told me.

I smiled and nodded to her.

"You see, Chris, the smile has returned to your pretty face."

She made my bed, covered me with a blanket after I lay down, kissed me loudly on the cheek and was about to leave, but I pulled her sleeve. She looked at me questioningly.

"Tell me why grandma treats me this way. Am I behaving worse than my brother?" I asked.

Anne's face immediately became serious.

"That's a very difficult question. She has reasons for this, and they are inside her head. Maybe someday she will tell you about it. But I know for sure that you are a good girl. And it would be good if John were as obedient as you. Even adolescence will not force a person to behave the way he does. This has been his choice since childhood. We can only hope that someday he will change..."

With these words she turned off the light and left. I thought for a long time, what if my brother finally changed. But I could never imagine what he would be like.