Give and Take - Joe Burrow AU

Chapter 8

Moving your lips in sync, your adrenaline rushed like never before. Wrapping your arms around Joe's neck, you didn't want to break, even for a breath. Just as your tongue swiped his bottom lip for access, Joe pulls away. Putting his hands on your hips and nudging you off his lap, the gasp that escaped your mouth was audible.

"D-did I do something wrong?" You ask, exasperated.

Shaking his head profusely, you could see he was trying to catch his breath to choke out a reply.

"No! I just .. we can't ... I don't know."

Your wild eyes searched his face for an answer.

"This is just not how I Imagined this would go." He says, almost with a hint of disappointment.

You swallow a lump forming in your throat from embarrassment.

Had you come on too strong?

Judging by his tense body language, you figured that you had.

"I'm sorry." You blurt out, quickly diverting your eyes from him and moving towards the door to escape the awkwardness.

"Anna, wait." Joe says, lunging to grab your wrist before you had the chance to run away.

Your eyes were welling with tears now and you desperately wanted to erase the last 10 minutes. How did you let this happen? How stupid could you be? Getting drunk and jumping all over him! Your mind raced as the images from the night came back to you. 

"Let's stop for a second." He says, but before he can get another word out, you cut him off.

"No, it's fine! I'm just drunk and stupid and I shouldn't have done that. That's not me at all. Let's just forget this, it was a mistake."

Joe hadn't let go of your wrist, and the silence after your blabbering excuse made you want to meet his eyes again. And they showed immense hurt, to say the least.

"A mistake?" He whispers, confused.

"A mistake." You repeat.

Slowly, he releases your wrist and diverts his eyes to the floor, biting the inside of his cheek.

Quickly, you whip open the door and get as far away from him as you can.

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Joe's spirit was broken.

All he wanted was to talk about taking it slow, not take back the whole night. 

He sulked in his bed for the next few hours following the incident with you. Thinking all the way back to the first time he met you, Joe swore there was chemistry between you and him. Something real. 

Every touch, every look, every laugh, Joe felt butterflies in his stomach.

And he didn't want to take no for an answer.

Getting up from his bed, he made his way down the hall towards your bedroom. The light from under the door indicated that you were up and rearing from what had happened earlier, just like him.

With a soft knock, Joe waited patiently on the other side of the door from which you had your back against, with your knees to your chest.

You had been sitting in the same spot you basically had rejected him in, hating yourself for losing control of your emotions like that. 

Why didn't you just hear him out?  You thought, until the knock made you jump out of you skin.

Opening the door slightly, you caught a glimpse of Joe biting his lower lip and hands stuffed into his pockets.

Heat rose to your face, feeling humiliated once again. You thought at least you could avoid him till the morning.

"Can we please talk?" He asks. 

You pause for a moment, weighing your options.

"Sure." You croak, opening the door wider for him to enter.

He saunters over to the middle of the room, hands still in his pockets. Turning to you, you can see he is seemingly just as nervous as you are. You instinctively cross your arms over your chest and lean against the farthest wall from him, maybe to keep yourself from kissing him like an animal again? You weren't sure. Anything to wipe the sad look on his face.

"Listen, I know you said what happened was a mistake, but I respectfully disagree."

You shift from one foot to the other as your heart starts pounding.

"Don't you think I wanted that just as bad as you?" He questions with a scoff.

"I don't know."

"Well, I did."

Joe takes a couple steps towards you.

"I respect you, deeply. I didn't want to take advantage of the situation by going too fast, too soon. I wasn't trying to push you away for good." He explains.

"We've been getting to know each other, and things have been so fun and great, I just didn't want to complicate things." He continues.

You shrug.

"I'm more embarrassed than anything. I got caught up in the moment, and I wasn't thinking." You shake your head and try to cover your face. Joe steps closer to you and moves your hands. 

"No, don't do that. Don't hide from me."

You look up at him through your lashes, meeting his kind eyes.

"I'm scared. I don't know how I'll be able to open up to you after everything I've been through." You say, feeling the tears come once again.

"Anna, all I want is to show you I'm not him. If I like you, and you like me, why don't we just start over and see where things go?"

"What about when you go back to Cincinnati?" You question, a look of fear washing over your face.

You had caught feelings, and very quick at that. How could you potentially start dating someone who was bound to leave?

"Let's not think about that right now." He says. "I just don't want to brush these feelings under the rug anymore."

"Neither do I." You reply sheepishly. "But I don't know if I can give you what you want right now."

"That's OK." He says, biting the inside of his cheek again, backing away from you. "One day at a time."

As he turns to head for the door, you call after him.

"Joe, wait." 

Pulling him back to you, you stand on your tip toes to reach his lips for a soft, gentle kiss.

Joe sighs into your mouth, running his hands up your arms. You pull away, meeting his eyes again which are vacant of any trace of hurt any more.

"Goodnight, Anna." he says, finally letting go of you.

"Goodnight, Joe."

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I'm back after such a long time! My apologies. I'm ready to get creative again ;)

-burrowbabe <3