pride and fall

Chapter 2: the former king of the school

Hi guys ;) I just want to say thank you, tank you for reading the first chapter, thank you for reading the second now.

 I would be glad to get a feedback from you about my story. I'm interested in your mentions:D. 

(Sorry if my English isn't very well, the original is written in German and I translate with Google) If you want I can publish a German version too :D just say it. 

Just keep going, I can do it! I try to encourage myself as I 'run' through the busy corridor early in the morning, because I can't move really fast, trying to ignore the stares from the students. The murmuring, this confusion of talking, is killing me, it's so loud that my head is already buzzing. All I can think about is the little bag and how I need it. A big guy appears right next to me, one of my gang, the one who slammed me to the ground yesterday. He doesn't know that I'm not the same anymore, he doesn't know that I don't want to talk, that I don't want to be around people, that I just want to shoot myself from the pain. He should leave me alone, I am no longer the person he wants to talk to and I will never be again. "Hey, about yesterday, I'm really sorry, I didn't know that." He stops his apology speech when he notices my obvious reluctance to talk. Without any further reaction, I move on and leave him alone. I have no idea, how I made it to my classroom, but here I am now and there is Jack. What is he actually doing in my class? "He smells like garbage and looks like a homeless person, somehow Chico has changed. He is now too "a loser," I hear him say to my new classmates as I enter the room. I didn't actually expect something like that from him, it was kind of nasty, after all, he has no idea what I had to go through. I grab Jack by the jacket and press him against the wall behind him with a strength that I hadn't really expected given my condition, but let go of him pretty much at the same moment. I can't afford a fight in this state, not now and not here either especially not with Jack. I'm lucky, as irritated as he is by my sudden attack, he leaves me alone, for now. In class, many pieces of paper land on my seat from different people with different questions, but mostly they are about my disappearance and my return. How could I endure all the attention before and how could I possibly like that? I leave the school building 2 hours before school ends, finally daring to go home to my parents. I'm still afraid that I'm a disappointment to them, but the principal and the school psychologist said if I don't go today, the police will take me there. Of course I was released for the two hours. The ice-cold air blows into my face and makes me shiver, but I still feel pretty free right now. The feeling of freedom quickly disappears as my brain starts asking itself all sorts of stupid questions. What should I say to my parents? They probably think I'm already dead. Are they disappointed? Will they open the door? Are you even at home? The walk home felt forever long and yet somehow I'm standing here now, in front of the modern bell with the name Laward printed in cursive above it. Not long after I ring the bell, the white-painted wooden door opens and I direct my gaze to the black doormat below me with the words "welcome" written on it. My mother is standing in front of me. The realization hits me emotionally and I suddenly feel alternately hot and cold, but I still can't force myself to look away from the mat and look at her. Does she even recognize me? Should I say something? I hear my father's rough, strained voice calling from the living room. A lump forms in my throat, do I really want this? Is it the right one? "Chico" My mother gently takes my hand, I can finally lift my head, tears are gathering in her eyes and she looks as if she hasn't been able to sleep properly for a long time, her blue eyes seem faded and gray ones are showing in her dark hair Strands I've never seen on her before. "It's okay, come on," she says to me gently and leads me into the house. A thousand memories flash before my mind's eye, beautiful memories of my childhood, then these memories mix together. Horrible images appear, surreal images, then these faceless figure, more of a shadow, the one who took everything from me. I see our house and my parents, my sister, all dead, only me, standing at their graves. I notice that I'm shaking and I'm against a wall lean. My father shakes my arm, maybe he's worried, I don't know. Everything starts to spin, my shaking legs fold away, someone's arms catch me, the voices around me blur and gradually become a steady, dull drone.