A blurry view, a room lit with red light. Im kissing her shes kissing me and this isn't innocent, her hands roam my body pulling me close. her grip so strong on my waist that it lifts my dress a little.. suddenly I see my pills pouring from their clear container.. The kiss grows more intense.. I can see myslelf swallowing my pills as if im looking at my lips in a fish eyed lends.. Were kissing I feel her tongue enter my mouth and i feel something funny happening im my stomach.. I see views of a peach being ripped open and in the next second i can see the tree the peach grew from...and a flower blooming... The vision of us kissing becomes quicker like flashes of light... explosions of red dust..my hands grip the loops of belt-loops of her shorts... An eclipse comes into view as my lust for her grows i pull almost as if im scratching at her top.. Flashes of her facial features flash.. She leaves my lips and moves to my neck this sends me over the edge as I throw my head back to give her better access.. Suddenly the lust is not only coming from one place in my body.. I can now feel a deeper lust all over my body.. My throat bruns and i know longer see myself as me.. Somethings changed within me ,, I see myself almost as if i belong in the "Thriller" video crawling across the floor... I see her face its no longer relaxed letting out a painful moan she winces.. I see myself blood leaving a trail from my lips dripping on the floor like it's falling from a blade into the floor.. what is happening this cant be real.... I WOULD NEVER BITE ANYONE ... Especially not her ...
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Abruptly I awake from my sleep, heart racing. "That was a crazy one. Sometimes when I first wake up, my heart is racing and my throat is dry. I can't figure out if the pills are making the dreams more real orthe reason they are not worse. Even on good days I still feel like I don't fit in. Like everyone else has it all figured out. the clothes, they wear the bands they like, who they are, who they wanna be, and I'm the only one who's stuck pretending."
After changing over for times ai finally settle on wearing a long sleeved sweater vest in the shade of deep purple over my pristine white collard shirt. Accompanied by an A-line plaid skirt of the same shades and a player of low platform Vans. finally somewhat satisfied with my look I head down the steps of my home my older sister Akasha's room. of course she's not home. I think to myself, as I sit at her vanity, stealing one of her treasured lipsticks and applying it to my lips. "Fantasia." I hear my mother, call my name from the kitchen. rushing to put things back where they belong before heading that way.
"Good morning darling." "Sleep well?" My mother and Father converse as I enter the kitchen. "Uhh sure." I quickly answer porn myself a warm cup of Coffee. "I refilled these for you, you were almost out." my mother says to me as she lightly shakes my prescription in her hand. "Already? Are you feeling OK?" my father asks with concern in his voice. "Im fine." I answer taking a long gulp of my drink in hopes they won't continue questioning me. of course I'm not fine and they know it. they just want me to say it out loud but I won't because that will be the end of everything and I'm not ready for whatever comes next.
