Breathe, Tommy (BxB) (Frat)

Nine・Peace.

I should expect it the next day when I fling the door of my room back to another disposable cup. I did not come to Murphy and Galloway for a sugar daddy. Eye roll. 

I hook my earbuds in and drink my coffee as I cross campus to attend my first class of the day: Philosophy, where inevitably Christian will be. 

Eye roll.

As much as I've tried, awake the whole night, I still can't comprehend why yesterday happened like it did. He got so close to me, so close. And you pulled him back in. Now he knows about you. Why did you do that? He has a girlfriend and he got so close. He has a girlfriend, he has a girlfriend, he has a girlfriend. He's straight, he's straight, he's straight. He's not. Be quiet. Head down, earbuds in, you'll be—

"Sorry!" I instinctively grab on to the person to steady myself.

I seem to keep crashing into people, and my earbuds seem to keep getting ripped out, but at least the rest of my coffee hasn't gone flying. When I look up, it's Giana again and I feel the largest sense of deja vu I've felt in the longest time. Except this time, she hasn't purposely bumped into me to get my attention, she looks peeved.

I scurry to catch all the splayed papers of hers about to be taken by the wind, that way I don't have to directly look at her and feel guilty about upsetting her, but I feel her eyes searing holes into me.

"Did you see my text? It says 'read'. What happened?" she states.

There's an apology on the tip of my tongue, but I suppress it. It's not like I can explain myself. What do I even say? Hey, we had sex, and it was great, not that I can remember much... but I was thinking about Christian the whole time and then I sort of felt like my dick was in the wrong place. Not that I would be in him, the other way around honestly — bottom for life. But we still had sex anyway, even though I'm gay, and now I'm lowkey ignoring you.

"I, uh..." come up with nothing else, only a look on my face begging for her resonance and sympathy as to why I'd rather not talk about this right now. She looks like she isn't used to getting rejected, or she isn't used to dealing with insensitive pricks because she's been lucky enough to sexually converse with the ones who care less about themselves and more about her.

I'm not insensitive, I'm just... too self-involved for high school conversations. Too up my ass with mental problems. So not insensitive, more like selfish.

She tears up in front of me. I thought I was the dramatic one. She doesn't even know me, can't hurt that much for me to have not replied, right? You're rude. As established.

"If you're not interested, you can say it."

"I'm not interested."

You're getting rid of a potential beard. I don't need you right now. That's the attitude that got you here in the first place. Alright, I'm insensitive, Christian can put me in a headlock for being like this to his childhood bestie. There's nothing else to say to her. What about sorry, you asshole? I see her wipe a tear away and I do feel shitty, but I don't think it's a good idea to open up the can of worms that contain all the fucked up reasons why I'm pretty much undoubtedly fucked up. So I hand her papers back, act like I don't know her, and make it to class. You've forgotten who she's friends with to treat her this way, how do you think they'll treat you when they find out?

Of course, the incident with Giana has made me late. And of course, the professor being my uncle, as much as I'd like, doesn't earn me a pass — this session isn't even a lecture and he's made it a lecture lecturing me through his deadset stare. And of course, the one seat left is in front of Christian, who would be up my ass in my wildest dreams if I didn't find him so... aggravating.