Principessa

part one

Pain that's all I've felt for the past 12 years ,having to deal with the loss of two of the only people who actually cared for me and treated me as if i were their own daughter ,who made sure that i had everything i could need. A roof over my head a warm plate of food and the unconditional motherly love most crave for which i craved for and only got from my real mom before she died then Grandma Ann before she died to

Grandma Ann and Grampa Paul were the ones who took me in 12 years ago when my mom died from leukemia. They were our neighbors while growing up and offered to take me in if anything happened and my mom didn't hesitate and agreed to their offer saying that she'd be able to rest peacefully if they did and died a month after i fully moved in with Granny and gramps ,life was manageable with my grandparents being there but when Granny Ann died 3 years ago i became heavily depressed involving myself with the wrong crowed and constantly causing trouble

Grandpa Dennis health is also declining his 70 and is trying to be as strong as he can for me even though it is obvious that he is dying

Trying to forget about all this i continue hitting the punching bag as hard as i can

"Hey kiddo you okay there" grandpa Dennis asked walking over to me

Blowing a strand of hair out my face i turned to him trying to hide the tears threatening to come out

"I'm just scared gramps you the only person i have left in this world what if something happens to you.we both know that you haven't been doing well since grandma died i won't be able to live without you "I cried looking at Dennis who seems to be lost in thought "you good gramps you seem a little off i didn't mean to make you sad or anything by bringing up any painful emotions"

"No sweetheart it's just, nothing forget about it"he says avoiding eye contact
"It's just what you can talk to me" I pleaded my fear immediately taking over

"Okay go clean yourself up and meet me in the dining room for dinner "he tells me before walking out

Heading to my room i open my bedroom door and head to the bathroom for a much needed shower

After taking a shower i change into a pair of black pants and a matching tee-shirt leaving my wet hair to dry naturally and walk downstairs straight towards the sound of gramps humming

I walk in and see grandpa Dennis sitting at the table joining we allow the silence to take over both waiting for the other to speak first

Gramps finally broke the silence "Claire i know life has not always been easy for you and i just want you to know that i love you more than anything in this world and i wouldn't change the time we had together for anything "

My heart sunk as i sensed he isn't done talking "Why do i sense a but coming" I whispered

"But you are right i won't be here forever and you need to be in a house where you are taken care of when i am no longer around " he spoke and my heart literally dropped

"What do you mean gramps" I Cracked out allowing the tears to finally drop

"My lungs aren't doing so well kiddo ,Doc said that i have a year to live without surgery and around 5 years with surgery and i've decided that i am not going to do the surgery "he spoke grabbing my hand on the table

"Why not gramps you can't leave me you can't do that I'll just call doctor Wyatt then we can go on with the surgery " I spoke my anger becoming more at the lightest thought of him considering

"It's not that i don't love you Claire it's that i love you so much that i need to let you go"he sobbed "I saw how you broke when your mom and grandma died i can not have you worry about me for the rest of my life if i do the surgery and I'm old the chances are decreasing by the day my time is almost up and my beloved Ann is waitingforme,I need you to live find your own happiness and do what makes you happy i want "he corrects himself "no i need you to take care of yourself Claire go do what you couldn't do while growing up go enjoy the wonders of life"grampa said squeezing my hand as both of us cried

"Your dad is alive" he announced
"What that is not possible gramps mom told me he died saving us from a fire when she was still pregnant "I spoke

"No Claire your mom just said that, Your dad lives in Italy little one i have his address that your mom left for when the time was right go and find him tomorrow Claire it's never to late"

"Why did my mom lie to me did he not want me ,was I not good enough " i whispered

The thought alone breaks my heart everyone i ever love leaves me am i so worthless

"No Claire there is a lot that you do not know and i unfortunately don't have the answers for you go and search for the truth there's only one way to find out you leave tomorrow morning go and get some rest sweetheart "gramps gets up and kisses me on my head before making a beeline out the door

Even though i hate the idea of leaving gramps i need to know the truth i need to find my father and see if he willingly abandoned me , i need to know why my mom decided to keep me away from my father

Tossing my food away i stand up and head towards my room and jump into bed allowing myself to fall asleep with memories of my mom and how happy we were.......