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El Matador: *kisses North* North: ! El Matador: ...Did you steal my chapstick? North: Did- did I what? El Matador: My chapstick, North. Did you steal it? North: El, for the love of God, not this again. El Matador: I- No, I didn't steal your chapstick. We use the same chapstick. North: No, there is absolutely no way we use the same chapstick, because it was only sold on one Etsy shop two years ago and they discontinued it, and I loved it so much that I bought the last of their stock, and I keep it in my freezer so it doesn't go bad. It's been discontinued for three years. No one uses the same chapstick for three years. So unless you've been eating a whole fuck ton of something that's flavored like chocolate and popcorn, you absolutely stole my fucking chapstick. North: Chocolate and popcorn? El Matador: Why do you think it got discontinued?
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