𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄.

CHAPTER ONE: GOODBYE FOREVER.

Trigger warnings: depression, anxiety, and suicide/death . Reader discretion is heavily advised. 

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Goodbye forever, sis.

Elara Reed's heart skipped in her chest as she read over the chilling message that emerged on her phone. Not again, she thought, sighing. She could already feel the headache forming - well, on top of the headache she already had. She always had one, and it was usually because of her family. Shelby, her older sister, was notorious for these episodes. Sadly, it wasn't the first time she did something like this, and yet, Elara worried.

Then again, how could she not? It was her sister. It was the one person she was supposed to look after no matter what, though the worry wasn't always reciprocated. Still, despite her concern, Elara was reminded time and time again that Shelby was doing this for attention.

It was a cruel reminder, of course. She didn't want to think so. She was caring by nature, and the idea of anyone suffering made her sad, but over the years it was what she was used to hearing when things like this happened. Everyone said so, even their mother, so she had accepted it as the explanation, but it still didn't settle well with her. It didn't seem right. 

None of it was right. She shouldn't have to invest as much energy as she did into someone else, she though in the back of her mind. Maybe a small part of her knew this wasn't normal behavior, and she was getting tired of it. Still, she was maternal by nature, and she couldn't resist the instinct to protect her sister, even though it should be the other way around. 

As the older sister, wasn't Shelby the one supposed to be looking out for her? It was like it was the other way around, and sometimes it was exhausting. In this case, Elara was the responsible older sister, always making sure Shelby didn't do something stupid when she was emotional... which was all the time. Lately, it seemed like it was more intense than ever.

She wasn't sure what had happened to cause this change. It wasn't like there was anything overly drastic the last few months that could have prompted these massive mood swings. Maybe she didn't need a reason anymore. Maybe she was just going to keep testing her luck to see how much she could get away with. To see just how far she could push her, and Elara was always the one left to deal with the consequences. 

Elara had no shame in denying the fact she hated it. For once, she wanted to be the one to be taken care of, but she it wasn't going to happen. There was no one else to turn to anymore, and she spent each day walking through it alone. She wished she could disappear sometimes, but wishing didn't make it all go away, and someone had to keep their head in reality. Their family was hanging on by a thread, and she was that thread.

If it wasn't for her, they'd all be fucked. More so than they already were, and that thought was maddening enough as it was. So, as her eyes remained glued on the screen, Elara exhaled, debating what to do at that moment. She hated being at work whenever this happened, but it wasn't like she knew which days were going to be one of Shelby's bad ones. She should have known that it was going to be when she left, though. She was already in a bad mood and screaming when she left for the day. 

Elara was used to it, so much so that she didn't think it was going to be any different than any other day. It was terrible to say, but it was true. Maybe she should have just stayed home. Shelby had insisted that everything would be fine, though, and in the heat of the moment, she had believed her. Now she wished she hadn't.

What was she supposed to do, though - put her whole life on hold every time her sister had a temper tantrum? If that was the case, she would never get anything done, and by the end of the day, she was still the only one working to pay rent. Shelby had quit her last job at the grocery store months ago because she didn't feel like going anymore, and it was obvious she had no intention of getting another one. And for the time being, her mother was relying on disability. Though Elara didn't understand any of it, and she wondered how long it was going to last.