"My little birds deserve only the best" it's with a promise that it starts: a promise of safety against the violence of the world, the hunger, the loneliness and the poverty. Just like a little bird, as long as you stay in The Nest nothing from outs...
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[tw: alcohol abuse; mention of multiple sclerosis – I am no doctor so please pay no attention to the possible inaccuracies about the disease, I did some researches and wrote this based on what I found or remembered about a family member that suffered from it]
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He was lying atop crumpled sheets from a sleepless night, one hand holding his phone and the other one tucked inside his pants. He had been in that position for long enough to decide that afternoon he wouldn't masturbate.
One phonecall had been enough to completely ruin his mood. He had been waiting for that day for what felt like ages but suddenly his expectations had been disappointed by his boss' voice. A few words whispered from the other end of the phone: "I'm sorry San, but you can't play tonight. Lei is sick and I need you to take his shift"
He didn't even ask if San was ok with it, why would he? He was gonna pay him and everyone knew that he was desperate for money at that point. His mother just got fired from her umpteenth workplace and the bills seemed to get higher at each passing month. On any other day San would have been happy to put on his roster a few more working hours but not on that day. He had been waiting for so long...
"The crowds are not ready for us just yet, jagi" he had whispered to the direction of his guitar.
Not that he expected huge crowds anyways. It was a Tuesday night and not many people would come to the bar, and yet he had been the happiest when he asked his boss if it was okay for him to perform on their small stage instead of playing their usual commercial playlist and he said yes. Just the idea of finally have a real stage for himself was enough to make him want to jump like a little girl. Until then the only places he had a chance to perform at were the streets and the parks of Seoul, but the people of the city were always too busy to stop and really listen to his music. The best he received were a few videos from the tourists that would pass by. Just ten seconds, what was considered enough to receive a decent number of likes on their social media. Ten seconds, a timid smile, maybe a few coins dropped in the case of his guitar and nothing more.
He didn't like Seoul. At the beginning he thought he just needed the time to get used to the new environment but even if many years had passed nothing had changed.
He stopped the porn video he had been watching for the last twenty minutes, too pissed and tired to actually pay any attention to it. Little changed if he came or not, that was gonna be a shitty day so there really wasn't a point in trying to make it better. He prefered to use the time he had left before his shift to take a slow long shower and trying to hide the dark circles under his eyes.
Wallet, keys, helmet. He collected everything he needed before he stopped at the door and turned one more time to look at the small room. He hesitated and he knew the second he took the first step that his self-deception wouldn't be good for him but he really couldn't stop it.
