Suspicious Love

Admirers

   Creep. I stared at him more than I intended to, now he thinks I'm a creep. That's fair, it was my fault. He looks familiar, but where is he from?  A childhood friend? A former classmate? A friend of a parent? Whatever he is, I can tell he's popular here. His skin is fair.. he has ruby eyes with a little beauty mark under his left eye, his hair is dark but ashen-colored. What am I doing. Why am I describing him like this? I really am a creep.. yet, I can't help but admit he's beautiful. He's a boy, yet he's beautiful. Is that a normal thing to say? I've never called anyone beautiful before.. well I've called my mother beautiful as a compliment, but only because she teased me into it. Why was he waiting at the gates alone? I was told the school opens late.. did someone tell him to wait here? He looked unbothered from afar, as if he didn't care if he was the only one here. A few more people walk up to the gates, they all glance at him and whisper something. Maybe they're admirers of him? They look at him like he's some kind of goddess, maybe he is? He's beautiful for a boy, maybe him being a sort of goddess adds to it? What seems to be a teacher approaches the gates and unlocks it, now it's the start of my first day. I walk inside and my head is foggy.. is it first day jitters? It's never happened before, but there was this one time where I barfed in the 7th grade when I had to give a speech in front of an entire class of students. I'm not good with public speech, as if this wasn't proof enough. Will I have to speak in front of them? Of course I do.. when do teachers ever introduce students themselves? I'm ready to barf. Maybe it won't happen. Maybe I'll be confident and avoid eye contact, that'll help, right? Maybe this time I won't be known as the "boy who barfed wolf". Looking back, that was a stupid nickname to give me. But it came from the only girl who liked wolves in the grade. She loved them so much she swore she'd marry one at some point, she was definitely introduced at a young age.. so sad.